Hercules arose early in the morning,and looked around the hotel room.He could see Aphrodite and Iolaus huddled in a chair,talking with whispered laughter.
Hercules:Good morning.
Aphrodite:(jumps up,all excited)Hey big-brother!Guess what!
Hercules:(amused)What?
Aphrodite:We're gettin' hitched!
Hercules:(shocked and sputtering)W-what?
Iolaus:Ain't it great,Herc?
Hercules:Um,yeah.Great.
Aphrodite:Okay,where should we have it.Olympus is out,so---
Hercules:Why is Olympus "out"?
Aphrodite:Well,we can't bring a bunch of mortals up there;it's against the rules.And,I'm sure that a wedding with just the three of us wouldn't be any fun!
Hercules:Well,can you pop them to the academy?We're headed that way;only about an hour from here.
Aphrodite:Um,okay.But(puts her palm on Iolaus' still bare chest),the news to little-miss perky-bunny comes right after "hello"!(pops out)
Iolaus:Why does she have this thing about Gabrielle?
Hercules:(puts a hand on his shoulder)Oh,gee,I wonder...
Flash to a lovely beach.Xena and Gabrielle are riding their horses through the waves.When, suddenly,in a flash of light,they are in front of the academy.Flash to a poker game.Autolycus has a big grin on his face.The grin fades,though,as an ace falls out of his sleeve.
Man:(wrathfully)Cheater!(draws his blade)
Suddenly,he is with Xena and Gabrielle in front of the academy.Flash to a marketplace. Salmoneus is in front of a cart shouting to the crowds.
Salmoneus:...Amaze your friends!Confuse your enemies!
Suddenly,he is with the others in front of the academy.
Xena:What is Tarterous...?
Suddenly,Hercules,Jason,Iolaus,and Lillith come out.They greet each other warmly.
Xena:What is going on,Hercules?
Hercules:Maybe Iolaus should explain.
Xena turns a questioning,yet purse-lipped glance towards the golden hunter.
Iolaus:(happily)I'm getting married!
Everyone's mouths drop open.
Gabrielle:T-to Aphrodite?
Iolaus:Uh-huh.
Suddenly,Cupid shows up,looking distraught.
Cupid:Uncle Herc!
Hercules:What's wrong?
Cupid:It's Mom.Ares tampered with Apollo's oracle,and...Well,it's a long story,but,Mom and Grandpa ended up really having it out about it.And,now...
Iolaus:(alarmed)"Now",what ?
Cupid:He decided to teach her a lesson.She's trapped in a cave with three evil spirits.
Hercules:Which---
Cupid:Hera,Callisto,and Hope.
Iolaus:But,they're---
Ares:The cave's in Tarterous.
Cupid:(angrily)How could you---
Ares:(outraged)Me?Zeus did this!I merely meddeled with some scrolls,nothing important,and miss priss got upset.She made demands on Zeus to fix it...He doesn't respond well to demands.(slumps down)(wearily)I'd never hurt her...intentionally.(looks pleadingly into Hercules eyes)I've protected her a few times; you know that.(lays his head in his hands)
Hercules:(sighs and places a relunctant hand on Ares' arm)I know.I know.
Ares:(slightly muffled because his face is still in his hands)I...I didn't know...
Iolaus:Well,can't we do something?
Cupid:(brokenly)Not us.We're gods.We're forbidden to interfere.
Hercules:Iolaus,care for a swim?
Flash to a riverbed.
Hercules:We keep swimming deep enough,we'll get to the river Styx on the other side.Charon can take us to Hades.
Xena:You don't need---
Gabrielle:Maybe I can reason with---
Hercules:Nah.We can handle it.
They dive in,leaving the rest to look down worriedly.Flash to the cave.
Hera:Well,well,well.If it isn't the little princess!
Aphrodite:(looks up and notices Hope)Gab-Gabrielle?
Hope:(throws back her head and laughs)Not quite,though the resemblence to my mother can be quite striking.
Aphrodite:(looks around for a way out)What do you want?
Callisto:(twirls a strand of hair)We have things to discuss.Follow me!
Aphrodite struggles vainly as Hope and Hera drag her off in the direction Callisto is going. Flash to Hades' office.
Hercules:Hades,she's your neice!
Hades:Yes,I know.But Zeus wouldn't even let her off the hook...Not even with her being pregnant.
Iolaus:(color draining from his face)Pregnant?I...She didn't say---
Hercules:(jaw-tensed,lays a comforting hand on his best friend's shoulder)Maybe she wanted to surprise you.
Iolaus:Yeah,but...I mean...what if---
Hades:Enough!All this...emotion!You can get a look.Here.
As Hades makes a motion with his hand,a bubble appears before him.Inside,they can see Aphrodite chained to a wall and struggling to get free.Instinctively,they both reach out to touch the illusion,but,at touch,it pops.
Iolaus:Let her out of there!(moves towards Hades)
Hercules:(holding Iolaus back)At least let us in there!
Hades:I will zap you into the cave,but you have to get her out yourselves.And find the gate that leads back here.Your sister is powerless in there;unfortunately,the other goddess' are not.
Suddenly,they are zapped inside a cave.They look inside a corridor to see the same thing the bubble revealed.
Aphrodite:(defiantly)You'll never succeed!
Hope:We nearly have;Iolaus and Hercules will be begging to be under our control before we're through.
Aphrodite:Not even in your wildest dreams!Herc and Curly will save me!
Hera:Oh?Then,where are they?
Hercules:Right behind you.
A fight begins.Hercules dives as Hera takes a shot at him.Callisto tries to zap Aphrodite,but Iolaus grabs her wrist in time.They fight valliantly,until they all three disappear.Hercules breaks the chains,and Aphrodite slides gratefully into Iolaus' arms.
Iolaus:(pulling her tight to him and stroking her hair)(sighs)You really had us scared for a minute there,'Dite.
After which,Hercules sweeps her into a big bear-hug.
Hercules:(setting her down)Um,ready to go?
Aphrodite:Ummhmm.
They head out.They walk until they get to a bridge over a river of flames.
Aphrodite:(grabs a hand of each of them)Um,guys...That doesn't look so steady.
Iolaus:Yeah,but there's no other way out.
Hercules:(comfortingly)We'll be fine,Sis.
Aphrodite barely nods as the trio go across,slowly.When they get toward the end,they notice that the last 20 or so planks are missing. Hercules:Uh...
Aphrodite:What are we gonna do?!
Hercules:(looks at his sister in concern,remembering her condition)I'll throw over Iolaus,then I'll throw you to him.
Iolaus:But,what about you,Herc?
Hercules:I'll jump.
They look at him in concern.
Hercules:(grabs Iolaus)No arguments!(throws him over)
Iolaus lands hard,but safely,on the other side.
Hercules:(lifts Aphrodite gently)You ready?
Aphrodite:(squeezes eyes shut)Okay.
Hercules throws her straight out like a missle,and she lands straight in Iolaus' arms, knocking him flat on his back.
Aphrodite:(cheerfully)Hey,sweetcheeks!Was that a rush-and-a-half,or what?
Iolaus:(chuckles in relief)Oh,yeah.(gets up)C'mon,Herc!
Hercules goes back a little & gets a running start,and summersaults over the flames,landing on his feet next to them.
Aphrodite:Way to go,big-brother!
They enter Hades' office through the gate.
Aphrodite:Are my powers back?
Hades:Yes.You can zap yourselves home.
Aphrodite grabs a hand of each,and intertwines their fingers together with hers.Then she lifts up both hands & they disappear in a golden cloudburst.Everyone is excitedly waiting for them when they return.
Iolaus:(nervously)Um,do you want to tell them,or should I?
Aphrodite:(confused)Tell them...(in realization)Oh!Why don't you do that?
Iolaus:(nearly bursting with pride)I'm gonna be a father!
A surprised but happy cheer goes through the crowd.Flash to the wedding.Everyone is all dressed up,even Cupid,who is preforming the ceremony.Iolaus looks up to see Aphrodite looking more beautiful than she has ever been before as Hercules walks her down the aisle. He stays up there as best man.Aphrodite and Iolaus kneel and say their vows to each-other.
Iolaus:We are true soulmates.I've always heard it was true that most people were only one half,that their other half was out there to find.I never actually believed it was true until you showed me.You are my other half,you complete me.And,I promise we'll be together for all eternity. Aphrodite:(eyes glistening)You are,like,the most perfect man there could ever be for me.It's like you know what I'm thinking before I even think it.I will never stop loving you.
Cupid:Exchange the rings.
They get the rings from Hercules and do as Cupid instructs.
Cupid:I now pronounce you man and wife.You may kiss your bride.
Everyone applauds as they kiss passionately.Everyone in the room realizes Iolaus' words were true:two halves of the same soul have been merged to make one holy,unbreakable union.
*The End*
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