Once upon a time, a golden haired hunter was strolling through the forest one bright spring day. His thought was "I wonder what Hercules is up to?" His second thought was...*snif* "Food!"
He followed his nose to a residence off the beaten track. It was a rundown little mobile home dating from the pre-Hellenistic age and from whence the delectable aroma was issuing.
He approached the trailer cautiously, avoiding the biggiantsqueakyhammer and the litter of pie filling that covered the yard. "This is weird," he thought to himself, but then shrugged it off. The possibility of filling his stomach was more important right then.
Knocking on the door produced no results from within, and he found that the door was slightly ajar, so he entered and looked around. There was a photograph of a bearded lady on the wall and three bowls of steaming soup on the table which smelled appetizingly wonderful.
Iolaus was normally very polite and would never take anything that hadn't been offered him, but these looked like free samples...so he tried them.
The first one tasted like boiled cat, but he ate it anyway. The second one tasted like Falafel's tacos, but he ate it anyway. And the third one was jusssst right. So he ate that too.
Usually his iron-clad stomach could handle anything, but the combination of stewed cat and Mexican food gone terribly wrong ganged up on him, and needless to say he was losing the battle.
"I gotta lay down!" he groaned, clutching his gizzard.
He reached up and un-folded the pull out bunk and climbed up. The bunk promptly sproinged closed with him in it. After struggling loose from the clutches of the bunk, he said, "That one's too springy!"
Next he tried the fold out couch. Just when he got comfortable, the bugger collapsed with him in it. He lay on the floor for a moment, then uttered, "Ouch."
Iolaus climbed heavily out of the wreckage of the couch and made his way to the bathroom. There, after taking care of business with the porcelain altar, he discovered the tub.
"Ah, ha! A place that will not spriong or fall apart! Kewl!" He then proceeded to cram himself into the tub for a snooze.
Sometime later.....
"Hey! Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk, I wonder why the doooooor's open?!"
"You, moron, you probably left it that way!" *WHAPSMACK*
"Hey, don't pick on him, he didn't do nothin'!"
"I'll pick on both of ya!" the short, dark haired one hollered and pounded both of the other two over the head, then eye poked them in turn.
Curly grabbed the squeakyhammer, and all three tried to go in the door at the same time, resulting in the curly haired one and the tall bald one whacking into the doorjamb. The third, short, dark-haired one squirting through the center and into the kitchen.
After straitening their natty clothing, they suddenly realized their dinner was missing.
"Hey, somebody's been eating my dinna'!" said the curly haired one.
"Somebody's been eating my dinna' too!" said the beetle-like dark haired one.
"Somebody's been eatin' my dinna', and they ate it allllllll up!" declared the bald one.
The three started looking around and found the bunk and the couch in disarray and gave up exclamations of surprise and alarm at the state of their trailer. Not that they normally would have noticed but that little blond girl had just been there last week and cleaned the place up.
"Somebody's been sleepin' in my bed!" hollered the curly-haired one, upon seeing the state of the bunk.
"How could you tell, ya mook?! It always looks like that!" exclaimed the dark-haired one. And seeing the mess on the floor that used to be the couch said, "Somebody's been laying in MY bed!"
Curly, the bald one, had headed for the bathroom, still trailing the squeaky hammer. Upon his arrival he exclaimed "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed, and he's still here!... He's kinda cute... Hey Mo!"
The other two came running in time to see a very confused Iolaus sit up in the tub and blink at them.
"Why, I'll moiderize him!" screamed the beetle-haired one and grabbed the squeaky hammer from Curly and began bashing Iolaus over the head with it. *squeaky-squeaky-squeaky*
Iolaus clambered out of the tub, and fending off the hammer blows managed to scramble out the window and escape. After running heck-bent-for-leather through the forest to put as much distance as possible between himself and the loony bin, he finally slowed and looked over his shoulder.
"Whew! What a day! I guess I'd better get back to Hercs' house,..I wonder if dinner is ready?"
The End
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