Weekend at Salmoneus' Amusement Park by the GoldApple Bard's List began Aug 4, 2000 ended Aug 7, 2000 Hi all! Ok, for those of you that missed the message earlier this week. We are having a virtual party this weekend. What that means is that if you choose to play along. You write a short bit about what your net persona is doing at the party. Remember, this is a PG list so keep it clean and no monopolizing the fictional characters, this includes Iolaus (all of them). No one else is allowed to write you into the story, you have to do that yourself. No one will be checking for grammar or spelling mistakes. Have a good time and watch out for Falafel's funnel cakes. There is a map of the park and pictures of some of the attractions located at our egroups page under "files" then "park". The party will continue until Sunday sometime. Have fun. The party setup follows at the end of this message: Love Ceryndip _______________________ Virtual Amusement Park set up by Ceryndip, Bwell, Jane and Margui July 2000 "Relax, Salmoneus," Ceryndip soothed, "It's all ready. There's nothing left to be done. Everyone is in place. All you have to do is open the gates and Salmoneus' Playground of the Gods will be open for business." "Can we go over the checklist one more time just to be sure we haven't forgotten anything?" "Sure, Iolaus and Hercules are just finishing checking out all the rides. They can report when they get here. Twanky and her show girls are rehearsed and ready to perform over at the amphitheater. Iolaus2 and Nautica have the aquatic section of the park all ready to do. The pool is wonderful. Poseidon out did himself with those three waterfalls. With Hercules' help we've channeled a stream off to power the log ride and the natural hot springs in the forest on the far side of the pool make hot tubs completely unnecessary. Autolycus is handling the after dinner entertainment. I understand that he's hired a polka band and has been practicing the "chickee" dance all week. He looks so cute in his lederhosen." "Are you sure he's not here to steal something? I've spent enough time with Autolycus to know him pretty well. He just can't help himself." "He promised Margui that he'd behave." Ceryndip replied as they strolled through the shady avenues of the park. "We have to give the Iolausians a summer ending blowout to remember." Ceryndip consulted her clipboard, "Let's see, Demeter has the snowball concession and Falafel has set up a funnel cake stand on the boardwalk. He'll be selling hot dogs and turkey legs as well but Iphicles has loaned us his royal chef for the weekend and he'll be over in the kitchen in the meeting hall. Ares wanted to be in charge of the train. You know, the train that meanders through the whole park. He said he always wanted to be an engineer. That kinda concerns me. We're going to have to keep an eye on him, I don't trust him." "Agreed, and how," Salmoneus replied. "One question, why'd we let WildKat in early? I saw her sneaking around the Ferris wheel but I couldn't see what she was up to." "She's got a special job. Kat's in charge of making sure everyone stays cool in the afternoon heat." "Does this have anything to do with that grape juice shooting bazooka she carries around at these functions?" "Don't worry, it'll be loaded with water today." "And she's going to run around all afternoon squirting people?" "Very likely." "That's going to cause a hoolie sooner or later , you know?" Ceryndip grinned, "I've got my m&m catapult stowed around here somewhere. How about you?" "Woefully unarmed I fear," Salmoneus replied. "Just keep your head down when the food starts flying. Ceryndip winked at him and called to Iolaus. "Where's Herc?" Iolaus glanced toward the bathrooms, "He's, uh, busy at the moment. He sorta tossed his cookies on Fortune's tilt-a-wheel." Salmoneus was immediately concerned, "Is there something wrong? If it's not right, we'll have to shut it down" "No, no. It's great. Ares flew by in that train at light speed and zapped the wheel. It got a little fast for a minute and that's when Herc lost it." Iolaus leaned over and whispered, "Herc's not real good at the rides, holds on so tight, he leaves finger marks in the railings." "I see, I think we can find something else for him to do," Ceryndip whispered back. "That'd be for the best," Iolaus confirmed. "But are the rides alright?" Salmoneus asked. "They're great! The girls will love them. Hades' House of Horrors is really scary with all those gooley drooley guys from the underworld popping out when you least expect it. 'Dite's Bump and Grind bumper cars are fantastic with all the cars shaped like monsters and otherworldly creatures. Pegasus' Pendulum, man, don't ride that one if you get seasick. The Screaming Hydra, what a rollercoaster! Around and upside down and that screaming noise it makes, that thing just sounds evil. It is guaranteed to thrill. Cupid's Tunnel of Love is going to be a huge hit with the ladies. Relax Salmoneus. It's going to be a great weekend. You think Ares is going to be a problem with his zapping as the train rolls by?" "Nah, not as long as everyone holds on. He just gives everything an extra burst of speed for a moment. It's fun." Ceryndip was not convinced, "If you say so and as long as he saves some for the fireworks he's in charge of that, too." "Don't worry, we're going to have a blast. Come on Salmoneus, let's go tell Jane and Bwell to get those gates open." Let the Games begin! -------------------------------- Kat started to wander around the park. It had been nice of Ceryndip to ask her to take care of keeping everyone cool on a day that promised to be a scorcher. She patted her trusty Hoolie modified SuperDuper Hoolie Soaker XPL 999999999999999999999999999999. Ceryndip had told her that she could only use water, but the Amazon had been at enough of these parties to know that a Hoolie was going to happen--- the only question was when. She walked over next to the Bump and Grind cars, making sure that her extra supplies were in place and well concealed. Kat had various Hoolie weapons and ammo hidden all over the amusement park. "Rule one of a Hoolie, always have plenty of ammo and weapons handy at all times," the Amazon recited from memory. "Also remember that everyone is a potential target or enemy, so it's best to strike first. Ahhh my Devious Deb training may come in very useful indeed." Kat made sure both of the tanks of her favorite Hoolie weapon were filled--- with water for the time being. She found a place to hide herself near one of the rides and waiting for her first victim. Kat ------------------------------ "I sure wish Demeter would have done something about the weather. It's as hot as Hades out here," grumbled Bwell as she leaned against the gate. "Hey! I thought you thought Iolaus was hot, Bwell," grinned Jane. "I certainly know I do." "Jane, my friend...nevermind. I see your point. Still why couldn't Demeter have cooled it down just a bit," she sighed. "Hello ladies. I think I can answer your question, Bwell," sighed Ceryndip as she walked up to the gate." It seems the weather is courtesy of our friend Salmoneus. He encouraged Demeter to raise the temp just a bit...you do remember her concession, don't you? He told her she'd sell a lot more snow cones if the weather was hotter. Not to worry though, Kat's wandering around the park with her soaker to keep every one cool." "KAT!!!!Where is she?" Bwell said nervously looking over her shoulder. "Did you say wandering or stalking, Ceryndip?" Laughed Jane as she shook her head. "Don't worry, Bwell, we can ride the water rides. Surely Kat wouldn't hang out there. You are planning on riding the rides, aren't you?" "Well, you know I'm not into anything that lifts me up to the clouds and then plummets me back down. I prefer terra firma...the firma the better! I thought I might try out the train ride...how harmless can that be, right? Right, Ceryndip? Ceryn? Ceryn?" "Oh man," she said turning to the entrance. "Look at that crowd. They look like they're ready for some wild fun this weekend. Fasten your seatbelts...we're in for a bumpy ride." Bwell and Jane followed Ceryndip as she opened the gates wider to accomodate the crowd. "Jane, what did she mean by seatbelts? Why would we need seatbelts?" Jane just laughed slightly maniacally. Bwell ----------------------------- Ok, ya'll, This is the only hint about this party you're going to get. Iolaus has been waiting 6 hours for someone to come ride amusement park rides with him. Poor Herc's been a poor substitute, so I've had to take him over to the meeting hall and lay him down on the persian rug with all the pillows and put a cold cloth on his forehead. Now, Iolaus is trying to talk Sal into going riding with him, somebody please come save poor Sal and show Iolaus a good time I'm heading over to the enchanted pool for dip in the nice cool water. Love Ceryndip ------------------------------------------- MaryE. surveys the crowd at the gates and grabs just a little tighter at the small hand resting in her own. If she knew it was going to be this crowded she would have bought one of those harnesses to put on baby Bliss so he wouldn't get lost. We've only been waiting a minute to get in but he's squirming already. 'How do I get myself into these predicaments? Oh, yeah, Cupid promised me five minutes alone with Iolaus in his Tunnel of Love if I delivered Bliss, safe and sound, into 'Dite's care. 'No sweat...piece of cake, I told him. No wonder he kept giving me those sympathetic looks. This kid is really a handful. I hope I can find 'Dite in all this crowd...wait! what am I...crazy? Who else here is going to be dressed in nothing but pink fluff? Duh.' "Come on, Bliss. Let's go find 'Dite fast." "Dite's fast...Dite's fast..." "No, Bliss! Don't say that. Oh, there's Salmoneus. Maybe he can tell me where to find Dite. Sal...Sal, over here." "MaryE. glad to see you here. Come on in and enjoy, mingle." "Sal, have you seen 'Dite around. Cupid asked me to deliver Bliss to her and then I've got to find Iolaus." "Well MaryE. 'Dite should be over by the bumper cars ride. Or maybe she's with Hephestus cooling off on the log ride. And Iolaus went to check on Herc. He's laying down." "Herc laying down? What happened?" "It wasn't any of the rides, I swear. Must be the heat. Iolaus went to check on him in the first aid room -- just follow the signs with the little cadeusi on them." "Thanks Sal." "Oh and MaryE." "Yes Sal?" "Keep your eyes open for Kat -- she's got a supersoaker and it's loaded." "Thanks for the warning, Sal." And MaryE. and baby Bliss are off on the mission to find 'Dite. Mary E -------------------------- Melinda looked in the meeting hall with a grin. "Hey, Herc. What are you doing in here?" "Do you have any idea what's going on out there? Do you have any idea the damage that can be done to one's internal system when twisted and turned at a high rate of speed?" "Actually...no. But it sounds like fun." Hercules groaned. Melinda grinned. "Come on. I know a quiet little ride that'll soothe those jangled demigod nerves of yours." She pulled the reluctant hero to his feet. "I'll even warn you when Ares' train comes close." "What is it?" Hercules asked as he reluctantly followed her. Melinda tried not to smile. "Gentle relaxing boat ride. Out of the hot sun." She linked her arm through his. "It'll get your mind off those other rides. Trust me." Melinda -------------------------------------- "Sal!" Margui said as she rushed to him. "What is it Margui? Oh, don't tell me you lost the entertainment committee. I should have never trusted Autolycus. Too many pocket, too many pockets to pick." "Don't get you're toga in a bunch! I know exactly where he is." She grabbed him by the arm and led him to a bench. "I think you better sit down for this." "What? Is he complaining about the sound system again?" "Well, not exactly, but he is having trouble with the choreography. Widow Twanky keeps telling him what to do. He practically took off his lederhosen and stormed out in a snit. He mumbled something about poetic justice, tormenting criminals and inflicting plagues and then he grabbed a roll of toilet paper." "Got a bit of the runs from Falafel's Funnel Cakes, eh?" "Not exactly....he was heading straight for the statue of one of the Furies." "So?" "Well, I don't know what exactly he was planning on doing, but he said something about toilet papering it." "Oh this is not good...." Salmoneus said as he hid his face in his hands, "It's the last time I hire a thief as entertainment director. He told me he'd get even with me for making him were that lederhosen again." "Oh yeah, by the way thanks! That man's got great legs!" Listen, I'm going to find Kat" Margui said as she started wandering toward the interior of the park, "maybe I can get her to cool him off..." Margui ------------------------------- Owlharp burst through the gates. Late again, she thought with annoyance. Sometimes Real Life had more gripping tenacles than a Kraken and more biting heads than a rabid Hydra! But all that was left behind as she entered The Playground of the Gods. A riot of sound and color greeted her. What to go on first? She paused in indecision, and suddenly heard a well-loved voice behind her. "Well, we probably ought to check out Fortune's Tilt-A-Whirl before we let anyone else on it! After all, it caused Herc to blow chunks - " Owlharp whirled around and saw Iolaus in deep conversation with Salmoneus. "Can I help you check it out?" she asked, breathing a silent sigh of ecstacy at the sight of the sun on the Golden Hunter's hair. Iolaus looked up and smiled, sending her heart into a flutter. "Do you have a strong stomach?" he asked. "Try me!" answered Owlharp and hastily shoved her harp at Salmoneus. Iolaus held out his hand. She grabbed it and the two headed off running towards certain vertigo! More tomorrow, I promise! Love to ya! Owlie -------------------------------------------- Kat continued to slink through the shadows always looking for a victim. The sun was now overhead and the temperature was rising fast. She checked to make sure her weapon was set to spray and not soak-- no sense in wasting all the ammo and making people mad, at least not yet. Kat heard a sudden jingle. She headed off towards the alarm--- someone had disturbed her hidden supply of ammunition. She wasn't too worried, she had several elaborate booby- traps set up for the unsuspecting. Jane had been wandering around the part when she noticed something that just didn't seem right. She moved in hoping for a closer look. It was a box, painted the same color as the surroundings. She reached out to give it a further inspection. As soon as he hand touched the box a bell jingled. jane looked up and was suddenly hit by several water balloons that had launched themselves from various locations around the box. "What the...?" Jane spattered. "I'd suggest taking a step back. The water balloons were only level one, and each level is a bit more diabolical," Kat said. She tried to contain the giggles that were threatening to spill out. Jane was soaked from head to toe. Water dripped down her body, flowing in the large puddle beneath her feet. Kat threw Jane a large towel. "I think you might need this, but at least it's a good day to get wet," the green eyed Amazon said. "Well, I'd better head out to find my next unsuspecting victim." Kat --------------------------- "Wow..." "Oh Wow..." "That was great! Was it good for you too, Owlie?" "Iolaus, I think I felt the earth move..." "Yeah, I know what you mean." "That HAS to be some sort of record... Twenty three times in a row.." "We'd have made it an even two dozen, if Fortune hadn't made us get off..." "Yeah, but did you hear the applause from the crowd?" "I didn't realize anyone was watching us! I don't usually do things like this with an audience!" "Neither do I! But hey - they were cheering the whole time!" "Well, twenty three straight rides on the Tilt-A-Whirl IS something to cheer for!" [Well, what did you THINK we were talking about???!!!] Love, Owlie -------------------------------- Allie sat in the parking lot on the hood of her trusty old Colt and watched the crowds pouring into the Playground of the Gods. She was new here and feeling a little shy. Mentally, she went over Ceryndip's warning and admonitions. What in heck was a hoolie and what in heck was she doing here? Sighing, she jumped down from the hood of her car. Only the promise of finally meeting her beloved Golden Hunter set her along the path to the main gate. The throng at the gate had thinned out as she approached. She could hear the shrieks of laughter and merriment as the newcomers joined the already riotous crowd. A cherubic, gray-haired man was greeting the revelers at the entrance. She recognized him at once. "Hi, there." He called out as she drew near. "I haven't seen you before." "Hi Sal. My name is Allie. I'm new." "Welcome, Allie. I know you'll love it here. The last time I saw Iolaus he was over by the tilt-a-whirl. That way." He pointed to the right. Allie gasped in surprise. "How did you know I was looking for Iolaus?" Sal rolled his eyes. "You're female, aren't you?" Allie waved a cheerful good-bye to Sal and started down the right-hand road. She was feeling much better already. Allie -------------------------------------- Hearing a plea for help, Hercules spun around to see Ares' train disappearing like a bolt of lightning with Bwell securely chained to the seat. "Oh, no...you checked your hero ID at the gate." Melinda firmly pulled on his arm. "But..." "No BUTS! The train is perfectly harmless. It's just fast." Hercules eyed the spot where he'd last seen the train. "I suppose. After all, this place is for fun." "Exactly. And a speedy train is Ares' fun. Look, I promise if he ties some damsel in distress to the tracks, you can save her," Melinda offered. "Unless of course she doesn't want to be rescued." Dragging the demigod forward, she spotted Poseidon's contribution to the park. "Hey, you know...we really ought to test Poseidon's ride. Come to think of it, I don't think it's had its first rider yet." She batted her eyelashes in a manner that would do the Widow Twanky proud. Hercules laughed. "Okay, come on. Let's see what my uncle has come up with." "Speaking of uncles, I heard Hades had one wicked horror house. We should check that out, too. You know, to make sure the little kiddies don't die of fright or something." When Hercules nodded, Melinda's eyes twinkled. First a dripping wet demigod...then on to the House of Horrors where she could legitimately hold onto the demigod. Melinda --------------------------------------------------- Lori nervously exited her car in the giant parking lot, having never been to a Hoolie before. Noting the color and number of the pillar in front of her for future reference, she adjusted the sling shot and bag of marshmallows strapped to her back. Having heard the rumors, it paid to come prepared. "This way, this way!" Lori saw a short, gray haired man waving frantically to her. "I'm coming, hold your pants on. I don't move very fast in this heat." ///I hope my marshmallows don't melt/// Entering the park, Lori looked around at the sites, not really ready to meet her heros without collapsing in a faint. She peered at the map of the park that Sal had given her. Maybe the Ares train? But seeing Bwell shooting by with a shriek, she quickly abandoned that plan. The Hades House of Horrors sounded like fun. Maybe a Fallafel Funnel Cake to munch on too. Humming to herself, she strolled down the path to the entrance, catching a glimpse of Melinda and Hercules, arm in arm, disappear into the darkness ahead. Checking out the bushes on either side of the trail in case of a Kat ambush, she hurried inside. Lori ---------------------------------------- Bwell laughed heartily as she saw Jane get wasted by Kat. "Funny how it's always hilarious when it's not you," she chuckled. The Iolausian managed to escape Kat's evil soaker plot twice already. It would be a warm day in Norseland before she got *got*. Looking around, Bwell quickly decided that as much as she admired Iolaus and Owl on the tilt-o-whirl, there was no way her stomach was going to be put through that vortex. "Won't catch me worshiping the porcelain gods this day,"she grinned slyly. "Well how about the steel gods?" whispered Ares. "Steel gods?" "As in abs and buns of...," he chuckled. "Oh puhleeeeze. Look, I'm just trying to stay away from Kat and find one thing in the park that I can ride without feeling like I've been on the Argos on a stormy day, Okay?!" she sighed. "Okay, may I make a suggestion?" he grinned wickedly. "Oh yeah, right! Like I'm going to take suggestions from a god who thinks of Thermopylae as a bored game. Thanks, but no thanks," she turned to walk away when he put his hand on her shoulder. "Come one, it's just a little train ride. No harm in that. You've been on trains before, haven't you?" he said as he steered her toward the train. "It just circles the park nice and peacefully. You'll get a chance to look at the other rides...maybe catch where Kat is hanging out. Find out when the shows are." He had her seated in no time. Bwell looked out from the comfortable bench as Ares returned to the engine. "What was I worried about? This is a park; they would never have asked Ares to be part of this if he could hurt anyone. This is pretty comfortable." As the whistle blew, she jumped slightly and then began laughing at herself. "What a wimp!" As the train slowly started its trek, she saw Ceryndip, Jane, and Iolaus frantically pointing at something, and shouting at her. "Yeah, I know, the big wuss finally got on a ride. What?" she shouted back. "Can't hear you." Suddenly chains whipped out from the bench and wrapped around her waist. As the train began picking up speed, Bwell heard a very evil laugh. "Welcome to your nightmare," he hissed "Help!" she said weakly. Bwell ------------------------------------------------- The golden bodied sphinx made a perfect landing in the park just outside the meting hall. Pythia dismounted carefully, readjusting her chiton and making a mental note to remember to bring a himaton with her next time she flew any distance. It got cold up in the upper atmosphere. "Thanks, Shem," she said, turning back to reclaim her pack. The sphinx smiled wickedly. "Anytime," she purred. "Have fun. I'll go find myself a warm spot in the sun. Whistle if you have need of me." "Will do." Pythia waved as the sphinx leapt back into the air and then quickly checked the contents of her bag to make sure they'd survived the journey. "Let's see... Erato's message for Charon. Libretto from Euterpe for Widow Twankey. Thalia's book of jokes for Iolaus 2. Maps for White Raven. Blank scrolls, quill pen and bottle of ink. And the baby cornucopia ... Yup. Everything in one piece." Pythia tucked the bag under her arm and hurried across to the path. Just a few errands to complete and then she could kick back and enjoy the fun. She felt a little guilty about 'borrowing' the cornucopia, but the Muses didn't frequent that gallery in the museum very often and Ceryndip had warned this event might turn into a hoolie. Nothing like having an inexhaustible supply of fruit at hand if that was in the cards. Somewhere to her right she registered a distant scream and turned to see where it was coming from. "That train's going awfully fast," she registered. "Was that Ares driving? And isn't that Bwell ...?" The train disappeared in the direction of the station and Pythia shrugged. It looked like the fun was well underway. First things first though. She asked the nearest reveller for directions to Hades House of Horror and set out in the relevant direction. The sooner she delivered her scrolls, the sooner she could enjoy the party. Besides, she was looking forward to seeing Charon again ... Pythia ---------------------------------------- Happily, Allie joined the milling crowd. She paused and looked up as the Screaming Hydra thundered overhead. "Whoa. There's no way I'm going on that thing." she said to herself as she continued on. "Pst. Little lady." Allie looked around and saw a tall man with extremely bad teeth motioning to her from a nearby booth. "Falafel. Hi." She went up to him. "You hungry? I got hot dogs. Turkey legs. Funnel cakes?" "Maybe later." Allie said politely. "I just ate." Yah, she thought, I may be the dumb cluck around here, but I'm not THAT dumb. She bid him good-bye and went on. Passing Hades House of Horrors she saw an evil-looking woman carrying what looked like a humongous Super Soaker disappearing behind the building. Must be Kat, she thought and hurried on. After stopping at Demeter's booth for a bubblegum snowcone, she arrived at the Tilt-a-Whirl only to find that Iolaus was no longer there. "Hi." Allie whirled around and looked up...and up...and up. Hercules stood behind her smiling down. Wow! she thought. He's a lot bigger than I imagined or I'm a lot smaller. He grinned. "I saw that mop of blonde curls and I thought for a moment it was Iolaus. You're Allie, aren't you?" "How did you know?" Allie's widened in amazement. "It's a half-god thing." Allie smiled, feeling very much at ease. "I'm very happy to meet you, Hercules. Now how about taking me on my first ride." "Ride?" Hercules turned a little pale and looked at the Tilt-aWhirl uneasily. "Uh..." Allie laughed. "Not that. Ceryndip told me about your unfortunate experience. Let's find something a little tamer. How about the Bump and Grind?" "Well...Okay." He reluctantly allowed Allie to pull him over to the ride where Aphrodite was just loading up the cars. Tucked into the small car next to the comforting bulk of the demigod she grinned happily. This is definitely bliss! Allie -------------------------------- Ceryndip climbed out of the pool and took the towel offered by Iolaus2. "Thanks. Have you safely stowed the 'stuff'?" Iolaus2 nodded a conspiratorial smile on his face, "Yes, I've got it well hidden and oiled and ready to go, I think you'll like the improvements I've made. I've adjusted the trajectory and the counter weights slightly. We should see vastly improved range." "Terrific! Iolaus you're a treasure." "Just give the word and I'll dry off my legs and come running. When do we expect the hoolie to begin?" "Don't know, We'll see how much trouble Kat causes with her water gun first. But it'll happen. My spies have reported a couple of other seige engines sitting around." Nautica returned from her walk through the park and dove back into the water, her legs transforming into a magnificient green tail as she hit the water. "Have you see the spread that Iphicles' chef is laying out for lunch? It's incredible! He's even being nice and letting Falafel have a table on the end. There's Jello and peanuts and sandwiches, fruit of all kinds, pudding, but I didn't see any M&M's. I hope you're not too disappointed, dear." Iolaus2 and Ceryndip shared a knowing glance, "Oh, don't worry, my love, there'll be m&m's around. Ceryndip and I've seen to that." Ceryndip ------------------------------------ Ziggy paused to wipe some New Greeceland tomato sauce off her mouth with a napkin before offering the rest of her hot dog to Chaos. She hadn't planned on bringing the little beast since it was going to be quite hot today, but Chaos had snuck into her hoolie ammunition pouch and come along for the ride. 'Speaking of rides,' she thought as she turned at the sound of the scream, 'it sounds like Bwell's having fun with Ares!' Due to a prior commitment, Ziggy had shown up late, but had found the party in full swing when she got there. Iolausians were everywhere and this weekend was already looking to be the Party To End All Parties. Ziggy watched as Owlie and Iolaus exited the Tilt-a-Whirl to the cheers of the other party-goers. When she'd first arrived, Iolaus had asked her to give it a try, but the Amazon had bowed out, firmly telling the Golden Hunter she had no intention of tossing her cookies today! It didn't make for a very pretty sight. "There's my favorite assistant!" Ziggy turned and smiled at the King of Thieves. "Auto, since when am *I* your favorite assistant?" 'Not that I'd argue much over that!' she added to herself. "Not you, Zigs, Wonder Weasel here!" Autolycus pulled Chaos from the sack, then scritched the ferret behind the ears. "How are you, my Prince of Thieves?" Disgruntled, Ziggy shook her head. "Figures!" She shook her head, then smiled. "By the way, cute legs!" "Oh, uh, thanks! Just a little something for tonight's entertainment, you know..." "Autolycus, are you blushing?!" Ziggy giggled. "Of course not! I, um, well, I really have to go now, you know how it is!" Seeing the mischievious glint in Ziggy's eyes, he quickly handed the ferret back to his owner. "Good, Chaos! I'll see you soon! We'll rob a royal treasury or something, OK, Little One?" He leaned over Chaos, now in Ziggy's arms. "Be sure and steal her hoolie weapon, OK?" "Hey!" Ziggy bopped Autolycus on the head. "He doesn't need any more ideas on what to steal!" "Hey, he *is* the Prince of Thieves!" "Only because your ego won't let you admit he's a better thief than you are," Ziggy retorted. "Never!" Autolycus denied. He quickly looked around, as if searching for something, or someone. "I gotta go! See you later!" He suddenly announced, then gave Ziggy a quick peck on the cheek before he dashed off. Before Ziggy could formulate her next thought, there came a "Hooo-yaaaah!" and the next thing she knew, she was totally wet. Dripping, she looked at Kat, who was holding a SuperSoaker in both hands. "Thanks, Kat! I needed that!" she exclaimed sarcastically, then laughed. "Actually, I really did need that! It's so hot today!" "My pleasure!" Kat answered cheerfully. "But poor Chaos looks sorrier than a wet raccoon!" "Nothing looks sorrier than a wet raccoon." As the wet ferret struggled in her arms, Ziggy finally relented. "OK, here," she put Chaos on the ground. The ferret shook himself, sending small droplets of water everywhere, then took off down the midway. "Don't get stepped on!" Ziggy shouted a warning. "And stay away from Ares!" "Oh, Ares is in a good mood today," Kat explained. "He's running the train!" "Yeah, I heard Bwell's screams!" The IMLers smiled at each other. "Ya know, since I'm wet, I think I'll go visit JIolaus and Nautica in the aquatic park. I hear Poseidon's done a fantastic job!" Ziggy remarked, wringing out her wet hair. She flipped it back over her shoulder. "I've got more victims to find," Kat grinned conspiratically. "You go, girl!" Ziggy waved good-bye to Kat, then started towards another part of the Playground... Ziggy --------------------------- Having parted from Iolaus - but not before receiving a kiss! - Owlharp set off, on only slightly shaky legs, to see the rest of the Playground. She stopped short at the railroad tracks as an engine roared by, tooting its whistle and belching huge, snowy clouds of steam. Odd. She could have sworn she saw Ares at the throttle, raven locks streaming back in the wind, teeth gleaming white in a grin of truly demonic delight. And even odder, she thought she saw Bwell seated on a bench behind him, with a mingling of horror and enjoyment on her face. And were those CHAINS around Bwell's waist???? "Well, whatever floats her boat..." thought Owlharp. She shook her head at Falafel's offer of a funnel-cake. "Later, perhaps!" she said graciously to the green-toothed cook. As she passed Hades' House of Horrors, once again familiar voices attracted her attention. "But sweet pea, I'm the Lord of the Underworld! " "Hades, lamb-chop, it's too HOT for black leather!" "But 'Sephy ! Angelcakes! I mean - white?" Owlharp looked around to see Hades and Persephone deep in a family argument. She hesitated to draw any closer, but suddenly Persephone looked up and saw her. "Owlie! Honey, will you come here for a second? All right, Hades -" she turned back to her husband - " we'll get an unbiased opinion!" Owlharp drew near and tried to look unbiased. "What can I do for you two?' Persephone gave her husband a gentle push forward. "Owlie, tell Hades that it is perfectly fine - for just TODAY! - to wear this outfit instead of that heavy, hot old black leather!" With an effort at impartial appraisal, Owlharp surveyed the Lord of the Underworld. Instead of his customary sable leathers and silver studs, Hades was clad all in the finest whiteand gold-shot cotton from the land of Ind - a loose, billowy white shirt and equally loose drawstring trousers, with gold and white leather sandals on his feet. Owlharp swallowed hard, in response to her sudden drool reaction to the sight before her. "Oh yeah, " she muttered thickly. "Persephone's right, Hades! It's waaaaay too hot for black leather!" Persephone patted her husband's cheek. "See, silly!" she giggled. "I KNEW that this was the right thing to wear today - " SSSSSSPPPPPPPLLLLAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All of a sudden there was an unbelievably HUGE deluge of water, directly right at Hades. A shadowy figure bearing a SuperSoaker that Owlharp recognized as being specifically banned by the Geneva Convention, fled, giggling, into the crowd of onlookers. "Oh good GRIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!" bellowed Hades, looking down at himself. "Oh good gracious!" shrieked his wife. "Oh my God of the Underworld" muttered Owlharp in honest lust, as she looked at him. The thing about fine white cotton from Ind, is that when wet, it becomes totally transparent. The soaked fabric clung to every ripple in Hades' muscular body, and the resultant sigh from the female crowd assembled threatened to knock over the god and his loving wife. Persephone looked at the expressions on the surrounding faces and then down at her husband's deliciously delineated musculature. "Hades, darling, " she said abruptly. "I think I was mistaken. Your black leather suits you SOOOO much better. .... Shall we take a moment for you to change, dear?" [ Next?] Love to ya! Owlharp ------------------------------------ "Iolaus2! I need you!" Ceryndip clambered down the rocks to the pool as Iolaus swam over to meet her. "Is it time?" Iolaus asked, excitment evident in his voice. "Not for the hoolie, not yet. We've got another problem." Iolaus climbed out of the water and grabbed a towel furiously drying off his tail so he could have his legs back. "What's going on?" "We have to stop that train. Ares has Bwell chained to her seat and won't let her off. How fast can we unload the m&m's and get something loaded in the trebuchet that will stop the train?" "No problem, I made up an extra basket, we just have to dump the candy out." He finished dabbing his leather covered legs, "Let's go." They ran around the bushes and Ceryndip called Hercules and several of the Iolausians over to help pull out the giant catapult. Kat threw down her squirt gun and took up position between Allie and Owlharp. "Iolaus, when you said you modified this, you underestimated yourself. How am I going to get this back in my chariot?" "Well, since you said this was our new playground I sort of assumed that it would be staying here. It will won't it?" "Yeah, I guess we can leave it here. Since we'll just be adding to the park as we go along." Hercules used his mighty strength to lift the heavy basket of m&m's off the hook. Then he attached the net as the Iolausians pushed a boulder into place and wrapped the net around it. Iolaus2 made some quick calculations and they positioned the trebuchet. "Get ready, here comes the train!" Jane called from the tracks. "Are you sure this is close enough?" Ceryndip asked. Iolaus2 grinned, "oh yeah." They all moved to the ropes behind the catapult ready to pull out the pin that would release the mechanism and fling the boulder. the former jester postioned himself where he could see the train when it first appeared around the bend. "Ok, on three....one....two....three!" They all gave a mighty pull and the long arm was released, pulling the boulder behind it. It swung way up into the air releasing the boulder from the net at precisely the right moment. It sailed through the air and everyone held their breath as they stopped to watch from all over the park. The boulder landed with a thunk right in front of the train. Ares could be heard swearing over the sound of the screeching breaks. "What! Just what is your problem?" the God of War stormed out of the engine. Hercules bent over that that Ceryndip could stand on his back. She got right in Ares' face. "You are going to slow that train down before you run over someone. And what is your deal, grabbing one of the list moms and holding her captive like that?" "You mean the chains? They were just to keep Bwell from getting hurt." "If you need chains like that to keep people in the train, you are going waaaaay too fast. Now unless you want to be assigned another job this weekend, you'll slow it down." Ares grimaced but one look from Ceryndip and he kept his comments to himself. "I supposed you're not going to let me zap anything anymore either." Ceryndip considered, "If you promise to slow it down some, I'll let you keep zapping but no zapping people and no zapping any rides Herc's on. And remember, you have to save some for the fireworks." "Don't you worry about that, I've got plenty of juice." He waved his arm and the chains retracted into the seat. A grateful Bwell fell into Iolaus' waiting arms. "Are you alright? Do I need to help you over to the meeting hall?" Bwell knew she was fine but Iolaus' suggestion was too good to refuse. "I think so but maybe a cool, damp cloth on my head." Iolaus lifted her off the train and put a supportive arm around her waist, "Sure, I'll help you, right over here, it's not far up the path. We'll take it nice and slow." Ceryndip --------------------------------- Hercules climbed shakily out of the car and wobbled across the floor. Allie grabbed his arm to steady him, although she didn't know what help she could be if he toppled over. Hercules had been nervous at first and when they were broadsided by a carload of shrieking, nubile females, he had jumped and nearly fell out. Laughing, Allie showed him how to steer the little car, aim it at an unsuspecting victim, and hit the accelerator. He soon got the hang of it, and began to relax albeit a little tensely. "Well, that was...er...fun." he said as they stepped out into the sunshine again. "Want to do it again?" "Er...no thanks. I think I'd better go lie down for a while." He smiled at her meltingly. "It was nice to meet you at last, Allie. See you later." "Okay, later. Bye." He left and Allie wandered over the playground. She jumped as she was suddenly drenched with ice cold water. The woman wielding the deadly Super Soaker flashed past her laughing maniacally. Allie shook the water out of her hair. Man, that felt good. This incredible heat was playing havoc with her thick northern blood. "Hey Allie!" She looked around. Ares had stopped the train and was waving frantically at her. "You know me?" "Of course. You wrote a story about me. I remember all my fans. I must say I'm disappointed that I'm not in any of your other stories." "All my other stories are still in my computer. How...?" Ares grinned at her evilly. Allie was outraged. "You hacked into my computer! Of all the nerve. How did you do that?" "It's easy, if you're a god. Tell you what, if you write an Ares story, I'll give you a ride. A really fast ride." "Deal!" Allie agreed and hopped up behind the war god. The whistle screamed and a great cloud of smoke arose from the stack. With a whoop Ares started the train moving down the track. Allie -------------------------------- Pythia arrived outside the House of Horrors just in time to see a well armed Amazon sneak her way around the corner of the building and take careful aim. Before she could so much as open her mouth to voice a warning a perfect shot soaked the white clad Hades from head to toe. "Wow," Pythia reacted, along with most of the crowd. She didn't which way Kat made her escape, since she was too busy staring at the unlikely sight of the Lord of the Underworld looking like a prime candidate for a wet T-shirt contest. She didn't blame Persephone for encouraging her husband to a hasty exit, although doing so merely gave the surrounding revellers an excellent view of what a wet Hades looked like from behind. "I see Kat's started early," she commented, joining Owlharp as she watched the Olympian pair reach the door to the House and vanish together in a flare of pale light. "Mmm?" Owlharp's thoughts were a long way away from the wild water wielding Amazon. "Oh - yeah. Guess so. Been on any rides yet?" Pythia shook her head. "Nope. Got some errands to run first. Seen Charon around?" "He's probably taking tickets for the Horrors." The pair wandered over to the doorway that had just swallowed Hades and his wife. Sure enough, there was a familiar figure in a dark tattered cloak directing punters onto the shadowed walkway. " .. and stay between the white lines, huh? Step off the marked route and somebody'll have to come and get ya. And it won't be me!" he called after the excited group that was hurrying into the projection of the netherworld. "You're all heart," Pythia grinned, stepping up to greet the ferryman with a friendly kiss to his cheek. Charon hurrumphed. "They won't get lost," he admitted, shuffling his feet and glancing sideways at Owlharp with a vaguely hopeful look. She rolled her eyes and dipped in to plant a matching kiss on his other cheek. He broke into a broad but bashful grin. "Good to see ya. Both of ya," he muttered. "Having a good time?" Owlharp nodded happily. Pythia laughed at her expression. "She's been making Iolaus dizzy," she grinned. "Hey - " She dug into her bag and pulled out the scroll she'd been asked to deliver. "Erato asked me to give you this." Charon's eyes lit up. "Huh," he wheezed, "Whatdayya know! She actually remembered! Thanks, doll. I owe ya one." "So what's it say?" Owlharp asked, trying to peer over the ferryman's shoulder as he unrolled the scroll. "He can't tell you," Pythia grinned. "This is a PG group, remember? Charon? I've a few more things to deliver, but when I come back? You gonna show me around?" The ferryman was busy reading the scroll, his eyes slowly getting wider and wider. "Huh? Oh. Yeah. You bet." He glanced up as the pair began to move off and a thoughtful leer split his cadaverous features. "Come back after dark," he suggested. "When the horrors get a little livelier. And I'll make it a real personal tour ..." "So who else do you have messages for?" Owlharp asked as the two of them merged back into the crowd. The train thundered past again, Ares' wild laughter echoing over the rattle of the tracks. "Just Iolaus 2 and the Widow Twankey," Pythia answered, staring after the rapidly moving train. "You think Bwell's really enjoying that?" "I know Ares is," Owlharp answered with a grin. "Iolaus 2's down by the pool, and Twankey's probably still rehearsing the dancers at the amphitheatre. See you at lunch?" "Sure." Pythia hastened away, anxious to get her errands done so that she could join in the fun. Something was decidedly brewing. For one thing, the cornucopia at the bottom of her bag had begun to spew out chocolate cherries, glace pineapple and crystallised kiwi fruit ... Pythia ------------------------------------- 'Nice shot,' Pythia thought, watching as the flying boulder landed right in front of the speeding train. The sound of screeching brakes could be heard all over the park. She hurried forward, realising that the blond haired figure standing next to Ceryndip was not Hercules' usual partner, but the merman she was searching for. The crowd swirled around her and, by the time she arrived beside the giant catapult, it was to see Iolaus escorting a shaken Bwell towards the meeting hall. "Shoot," she complained, "now I'll have to catch him later. Hi, Ceryndip. Nice catapult. Expecting trouble?" Ceryndip laughed. "We just had it," she said, waving towards Ares, who was winding up to deal with the rock that had nearly derailed him. A flare of lightning shot from his hand and the boulder disintegrated with spectacular effect. "Zap that," the God of War growled with satisfaction. He strode back to the cab and climbed aboard, smiling down at Allie who was clinging to the railing and looking a little white. "No more sudden stops," he promised, shooting an irritated glare at Ceryndip as he did so. "Now where were we ...?" The train pulled away, resuming a measure of speed, although nowhere near as fast at it had been going before. Hercules nodded a little grimly at the sight, watching as the engine pulled away. Then he sighed and walked back to the catapult, reaching to pull down the arm and latch it back in place. "You did want this reloading, didn't you?" he asked, reaching for the bag of m&ms. Ceryndip nodded. "Yeah. Thanks. Ah - " She started to raise a warning hand. Too late. Kat had snatched up her supersoaker and delivered a thorough soaking to the demi-god. She ran off laughing, while Hercules stood there dripping magnificently. "It is a little hot today," he said after a moment, shaking excess moisture out of his hair. A number of people in the crowd nodded dazed agreement. As far as they were concerned the temperature had just risen several degrees. "Let me buy you a snowcone," Pythia immediately volunteered, remembering that she'd passed Demeter's stand just recently. It was going to be a while before she'd be able to deliver Thalia's gift and besides - her bag was getting a little heavy, and she could always leave some of that crystallised fruit to be used as embellishment on the ices. "Thanks," Hercules smiled, smoothing back his damp hair and dropping the m&ms into the catapult basket. "That sounds much more fun than another ride." "Have fun you two," Ceryndip called as demi-god and museum archivist began to stroll back towards the concession stand. Pythia grinned, slipping her arm through Hercules' and thanking the Fates she'd remembered to pack the waterproof bag for this occasion. It had been a while since she'd enjoyed the company of the Son of Zeus and she was sure he had a new tale or two to share with her. Now that was what she *called* work. The Widow Twankey's libretto could wait a little longer ... Pythia --------------------------------------------- Having lost sight of Autolycus after he threatened to paper the Fury Statue, Margui wandered through the park. Every thing looked vaguely familiar to her, like she had been there before. She stopped at the Screaming Hydra and looked up. "Those people are crazy, why I'd never get up there," she said to herself. "Hey Margui," a familiar voice said from behind. Margui turned around and saw Joxer. "Joxer? What are you doing in these parts?" "Just taking a little vacation. I would love to go on the Screaming Hydra, but don't want to go alone." He gave her that sad look that melted her heart. "Would you go with me," he asked knowing she could not refuse. "Dang it," Margui thought. "He's so cute when he looks like that. If we could just get him to get rid of that helmet..." "I...um..." she said when Joxer took her hand and led her toward the long line. Margui was never prone to motion sickness, but her fear of falling was real. As the roller coaster stopped above the first "I swear it was a 90 degree" drop, she prayed to any god that would hear her. Screaming at every drop, twist and turn, she finally let go of the bar in front of her and grabbed Joxer around the chest, hiding her head on his shoulder. When the ride finally came to an end, Margui lifted her head from his shoulder, her legs too weak for her to get out of the car, "Can I just stay here for a moment?" She asked. "Sure. No problem." Joxer said eager to accomodate. He patted her on her shoulder and thought to himself, "Works every time." Margui ------------------------------------------- After the train rounded the first bend, it picked up speed and they were soon flying down the track at a breakneck pace. Ares threw back his head and yelled. "Hey, hey, hey! I'm mean! I'm baaaad! I'm the God of War. Ahhhooo." he laughed wickedly. "Be careful." Allie chided him. "You don't want to squash any stray Iolausians." She stuck her head out of the window and enjoyed the feel of the cool wind blowing through her hair. The train plunged into a dark tunnel. "Hang on!" Ares shouted and made the train go even faster. Allie hung on for dear life as the train pelted through the tunnel. As they emerged into the sunshine again, Ares slowed the train a little. "Tilt-a-Whirl, dead ahead." He looked around the playground and then leaned toward Allie conspiratorially. "Do you see Ceryndip anywhere?" Allie looked around. "Nope." "Hoo boy!" He leaned into the throttle and flashed past the Tilt-a-Whirl sending it spinning crazily, much to the delight of its occupants. "Awright!" he crowed. "I don't suppose my goody-goody little brother was on it?" Allie looked back. "I don't see him." "Well. that's bad and that's good." Allie looked puzzled. "How so?" "Bad because I sure like watching him toss his cookies and good because I won't get another scolding from Ceryndip." Brakes squealed as Ares brought the train to a halt. "I hope I didn't scare you too much. I didn't think to offer you my chains." "I wasn't scared. And as for the chains I don't think the Iolausians would want to mount another rescue." "Oh, you heard about that." "I helped rescue Bwell." "That was you. I thought I'd seen you somewhere before. Well, bye now. Enjoy." "Bye, Ares. Thanks for the great ride." Ares blew a warning and in a great cloud of smoke and hissing steam, the train moved off down the track. Allie wandered contentedly around the noisy park in search of new adventures. Allie ---------------------------------------- "Thanks again, Iolaus. I owe you, Ceryndip, and half the Iolausians here a snow cone. Now, I should let you go back to enjoying the park. I don't want to tie you up," Bwell grinned wickedly. "Now my evil twin, Bwicked...I've heard her mention tying you up numerous times." "Really?" he squeaked. "Bwell, is your twin...I mean is she here?" "You never know where she'll pop up. But don't worry; you have plenty of Iolausians to help you. Thanks again for the rescue. You have no idea how frustrating it is to be chained to Mr Speeding Bullet Train and having everyone smiling and waving at you. Thanks. My Hero," Bwell smiled and kissed his cheek. "Well, I've got to check out the House of Horrors. I saw Kat over there earlier, so I think it's safe now. Hey, don't forget to stop by Auto's show. I hear he's gonna lead us in the 'chickee' dance. Trust me, Auto in lederhosen is something you don't want to miss." "Oh yeah. This I've gotta see. Think humiliation...think laughter at his expense...think future teasing. Yep, can't miss that," Iolaus giggled. He turned and waved as they parted company. "Bwicked, huh? Yeah right Bwell." Bwell walked carefully through the park looking over her shoulder. "Okay, everything seems fine right now. Oh, Look, Kat just got somebody over at the tilt-o-whirl. House of Horrors looks safe right now." Bwell giggled as she snuck over to Hades place. "Home free," she whispered as she slipped inside. "Hey Charon, you don't ...like...have chains or anything in that boat, do ya?" "Aha, it was you screaming your head off going round, and round and round, and round," he laughed hoarsely. "Um...Charon..stop..please. Okay, we're across, now what?" "Just wander around. Look at the spooky exhibits. Watch out for the labrinth, it's a little tricky. Have fun...hehehe fun, yeah right," he laughed as he rowed back across to the entrance. "Well, the cobwebs are interesting. And that sulfer smell...whew! I thought for a minute Falafel had the burrito concession." Bwell walked along carefully noting the echo of her own footsteps through a darkened corridor. Suddenly Hades popped up out of nowhere in a cloud of smoke. "Are you ready for an accounting of your life? Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of Bwell?Mwahahahaa." "Well, I think the Texas Iolausians have a pretty good idea, even though I've always maintained my innocence," she chuckled. "Bwell, come on...you're making me break character." Hades cleared his throat and began again in his honeyed menacing voice, " Elysian Fields, Asphodel Meadows, or Tartarus for you.....Too bad EF and AM are already full...Looks like Tartarus for you! Scream all you want; no one can hear or help you!" he shouted as the ground gave way, and Bwell slid for what seemed like forever, and scream she did. "What did I do to deserve this? Just what....oh nevermind..yeah, there was that...and well of course, Dallas..and Whoa!" she squealed as the tunnel changed directions. Before long she landed flat on her convictions and blinked at the red walls. "Nice landing, guys!" "The landing is the least of your worries, Bwell!" screeched an inhuman voice as a clawed hand touched her shoulder. She jumped and screamed..setting of the "demon", who screamed right along with her. Suddenly Bwell shook her head and looked intently at the hideous creature before her. "Hey, don't I know you? What are YOU doing in Tartarus?" she gasped. A gentle laugh escaped the demon as he replied, "Bwell, this is a ride, not real life. They don't let the souls from Tartarus out on Amusement Park Passes. Only EF residents get a crack at this. Hades even hinted at being able to go around the park once the second shift gets here." "This is so weird talking with you when your voice is distorted and your face is disfigured. Can't you take the mask off?" She asked. "Oh, I can't wait to tell Owl who's here. Wait it's not a secret is it?" "Well, it does take the scary out of it doesn't it. Now, how am I to frighten the dickens out of you when you know it's me," the demon took of the mask and shook his straight blond hair. "After all, I think the only one I ever scared were the trees in the forest. They were the only things my arrows ever seemed to strike." "Okay, Orestes, you can put the mask back on. I promise to be scared. Though, it's going to take some doing to top the train ride I had today." "Oh, trust me....you should still be afraid. Be very afraid," he growled as he slipped the mask back on. "Oh my," she gasped. Bwell ------------------------------------- Kitt took one last look around the first aid room. She wasn't too worried that a healer would be needed today these parties were always fun and safe. However she'd laid in an extra supply of bicarb for those unfortunate enough to sample Falafel's creations. Extra aloe lotion for sunburns, and lots of extra towels for drying off. Satisfied everything was in place she headed out of the Meeting Hall to join the fun. The sun was bright and hot when she stepped out. "Where to go first?" she asked herself. All of a sudden she was wet, very wet. With a long suffering sigh she wiped her hand across her face. "Hey Kat! Just remember what they say about payback!" she shouted at her sister's retreating back. Kat just laughed and continued on her way to find her next victim. OK it's hot and I'm wet, that's not a bad thing. I know! Heph's Log Jam. I love water rides. Humming happily Kitt set off down the path. So many people already here. I guess I was inside longer than I thought. Suddenly something damp and fuzzy scurried up her leg. "EEEKKKK! Chaos! What kind of trouble are you in now? And where is Ziggy?" Chaos buried himself under Kitt's hair and peeked his nose out, chittered and then pulled his head in again. "Where is he?" Sal cried out, "Where is that little flea-bitten thief?" "Gee Sal, I don't know I haven't seen Auto all day," Kitt replied with an innocent blink of her eyes. "Not Auto! That four-legged protege of his Chaos." Sal said. "I've no idea Sal," Kitt grinned at the salesman. She was having a hard time not bursting out in laughter cause Chaos was tickling her neck. "Well, Sal good seeing ya but I'm really eager to ride Heph's Log Jam. See ya later." With a wave to Sal, Kitt once again headed down the path. After they were around the corner Chaos came out from under her hair and gave her cheek a lick. "You owe me fuzzy!" Kitt laughed as the ferret scrambled down her and took off. Kitt ---------------------------------- Allie laughed. "Not that. Ceryndip told me about your unfortunate experience. Let's find something a little tamer. How about the Bump and Grind?" "Well...Okay." He reluctantly allowed Allie to pull him over to the ride where Aphrodite was just loading up the cars. Tucked into the small car next to the comforting bulk of the demigod she grinned happily. This is definitely bliss! Allie was so thrilled to be sitting next to the demigod that she didn't notice any of the other riders. Lori was seated in the vivid purple car. Owlharp gripped the steering wheel of her bright blue car. Melinda was over in the yellow car. Jane had dried off and was seated in the vivid violet. Various other guests including a few of the Gods were in some of the other cars. "Hold on tight, it's time for the fun to begin," the scantily clad Goddess said as she hit the switch to start the ride. Everyone was enjoying themselves, launching their cars towards the others. Out of the dark far corner a car in bright teal joined the party. It was steering right into the middle of the bumper cars, bumping into everyone. Suddenly everyone felt a spray of water directed at them. Hercules sputtered as he pushed his damp hair out of his face. He looked over at Allie and asked her if she was ok. "What happened?" Allie asked. "Was there a problem?" "Nope, just Kat. She's taking her job very seriously," the demigod said. By the time the ride had stopped, everyone had gotten hit by the Super Duper Hoolie Soaker XPL99999999999999999999999999999999, and Kat had disappeared back into the shadows. Kat -------------------------------- A very soggy, largish Iolausian is heard muttering to herself as she stands under the park's misters. Kat has blasted her four times with the water bazooka, she's ridden the log ride six times, and stood around the water park getting splashed by Obie for a good hour. Still she can't cool off. "What am I to do," she mutters. "Owlie's got Iolaus, Ceryndip's snagged Iolaus2, I just found out Orestes was discovered in the horror house, and even Charon's taken. Phooey! I don't wanna be hot for no good reason!" She heard the sounds of a band warming up in the distance. Well, maybe I'll just wander down to the nice cool hall for a while and see what the good Widow is up to, Jane thinks to herself. There's just something about that woman.... Maybe she needs another dancer. Plus, I get to pass the fudge shop and the ice cream place and the Jelly Belly concession and my Jester's Souvenir Jug needs refilling with Dr Pepper. Maybe I'll find one of the Iolauses free for a moment, you never know. So, humming the theme from Young Hercules, Jane wanders down the way toward the Music Hall. She'd always wanted to be a dancer, but, well, it seemed gravity and grace were against her. However, the Widow was a good soul, so there might be a place in the back line. At least I'll get to watch the guys in their tights, thought Jane to herself. Sigh, Iolaus--any of them--in tights.... "Durn, it's getting hotter again! Where's that Kat when I need her?!?" Jane ----------------------------------- So, humming the theme from Young Hercules, Jane wanders down the way toward the Music Hall. She'd always wanted to be a dancer, but, well, it seemed gravity and grace were against her. However, the Widow was a good soul, so there might be a place in the back line. At least I'll get to watch the guys in their tights, thought Jane to herself. Sigh, Iolaus--any of them--in tights.... "Durn, it's getting hotter again! Where's that Kat when I need her?!?" "Right here," Kat said as she pulled the trigger. Her grin disappeared when no water came out of the weapon. She pulled the trigger again and then checked the tanks. She had been so busy attacking everyone that she had forgotten to reload. Sorry Jane, guess I'll have to get you later. You'll just have to find another way to cool off." Kat ----------------------------------- "Well, I don't know what exactly he was planning on doing, but he said something about toilet papering it." "Oh this is not good...." Salmoneus said as he hid his face in his hands, "It's the last time I hire a thief as entertainment director. He told me he'd get even with me for making him were that lederhosen again." "Oh yeah, by the way thanks! That man's got great legs!" Listen, I'm going to find Kat" Margui said as she started wandering toward the interior of the park, "maybe I can get her to cool him off..." Kat skulked through the shadows, Margui's request still on her mind. She had no problems targeting Autolycus-- in fact no one was safe from her and her trusty weapon. She made sure both tanks were full and went searching for the King of Thieves, remembering that Margui had mentioned the statue of the Furies. Autolycus hefted the roll of toilet paper. He wanted to make this toss count. "Damn Twanky, she's almost as bossy as that Iolaus. Hmmm, come to think of it, there is something similar about them both." He prepared to throw the toilet paper when suddenly there was a stream of water in his eyes, forcing him to drop the paper. "Hey, why'd you do that?" whined the King of Thieves. His dark eyes focused on Kat. Kat glared back at him. "You promised Margui that you'd behave. If you mess up, it'll be Margui that gets into trouble." "I wasn't going to do anything," he lied. "Uh huh, sure you weren't. I think it's time you headed back. Almost showtime," Kat stated. Auto began to grumble as he headed back towards the stage. He felt the spray of the Super Soaker on his buttocks. "I'd hurry it up, if I was you," the wild Amazon said. Once she was sure he was on his way, Kat picked up the toilet paper. "This could come in handy." Kat ----------------------------------- Pompeii peeked around the entrance uncertainly. She'd never been to an Iolausian party before; heck, she hadn't even been a member for more than a month. Just as she was wondering if she had time to turn back and run, Salomoneus grabbed her shoulder. "Before you ask, both Iolauses are taken. Same with Hercules, Hades, and Autolycus." "Oh," Pompeii answered, pulling the strap of her tank top back up. Then, as Sal started to leave, she said, "Wait, is there anything else I should know?" "Watch out for Krazy Kat and her Supersoaker," came the reply. "Oh, here's a map." "Thanks." Pompeii studied the map for a minute, then looked up sharply. "Who's Krazy Kat?" As she spoke, a wild-eyed woman with a freshly refilled Supersoaker jumped out from behind the Furies statue. "Ha haaaaa!" she screamed, drenching both Pompeii and Salamoneus. "Hey, you guys looked a little hot. Just trying to be friendly," the stranger explained and vanished. Watering dripping down her face, Pompeii looked desperately at the salesman for some sort of rational explanation for the weird apparition that had just attacked them. "That," Salamoneus said, drying his own face, "was Krazy Kat." Pompeii ------------------------------- Just before they reached Poseidon's water ride, Melinda saw a familiar form heading for the Bump & Grind. Eyes wide, she stared up at her companion. "If that's Herc heading for the 'Dite's ride, then...OHMIGOD." "Quiet!' The Sovereign hissed. "Do you have any idea how JIolaus would freak if he knew I was here?" "Why are you here?" Melinda demanded. The Sovereign shrugged a bit uncomfortably. "Hey, it's not fun to be left out!" Melinda considered. "Well, you got me there. But you're not gonna upset JIolaus, understand? Just smile like Herc & get on the boat." "Boat?" The Sovereign's eyes narrowed. "You're going to get us wet, aren't you?" "Dripping wet," Melinda evilly smiled giving him a shove forward. "Think of it as practice for whenever Kat shows up." Melinda ---------------------------------------- Kat had reloaded her Super Soaker and was on the lookout for some new victims. She sighed when she remembered how Hades had looked when she had gotten him. "Oh Baby," she whispered. "Hope Dea got a chance to see him that way. Hubba, hubba!!!!" Bwell had heard that Kat had been spotted heading towards Poseidon's water ride. She felt safe heading in the opposite direction. She spotted Kitt, Margui, and Joxer in line for Hephie's Log Jam and decided to join her friends. She waved at Ceryndip, Owlharp, and Pythia as they joined the long line. Melinda and Sov, Ziggy, Lori, Pompeii-- who looked a bit overwhelmed by everything, soon joined the line as well. Hephie helped each group into the special logs he had carved just for the park. Bwell was in front followed by Margui, Joxer and Kitt. Kitt grasped Joxer tightly around his waist. The other Amazons were soon seated in their logs as well. The ride started slowly as the logs went up a long, tall hill. As they reached the peak, Margui was surprised that she could see most of the park. Her sharp eyes spied Autolycus in his leiderhosen and she sighed. Kitt held onto Joxer a bit tighter as she knew what was coming up. After the long slow climb, the log began the steep drop into the pool of water below. Bwell sang as the log started to move faster and faster. Just as they were about to hit the water, Bwell ducked. Margui, Kitt, and Joxer were soaked from the large spray the log had created. The log continued on it's trek up another steeper hill for a second race into water. Bwell ducked again, missing the spraying water. When the group exited the ride, Bwell couldn't help but tease the others about getting so wet. "Hey Bwell," a voice called out. The Amazon turned at the sound of her name, not realizing until it was too late that the voice belonged to Wildkat. <<<>>> "Gotcha! You didn't think you could avoid me all day, did you?" Kat said. Kat made sure to hit each and every rider as they came off the log flume. "Wouldn't want any of ya to think I'm playing favorites." With a wicked laugh she took off in search of her next victims. Kat --------------------------------- "Uncle Herc...Uncle Herc!" "Bliss, what are you doing here, and who's watching you?" "Nice lady bought me icys." MaryE. heard baby Bliss greet his uncle and followed the little voice. She finally caught sight of the demigod with the little bundle of energy cradled tightly in his arms and a very distracted but very happy Allie cradled closely to his side. "MaryE., I haven't seen you for a while, Iolaus will be so happy to see you. You wouldn't happen to be the nice lady with the icys, would you?" "Yeah, Herc. I guess that would be me. I promised Cupid that I'd bring him here and deliver him into 'Dite's care but this little one has been running me ragged ever since we got here." "How did you manage to get roped into this?" asked the demigod with that same look of sympathy that Cupid gave her when she took on the job. "Cupid promised me five minutes alone with Iolaus and I figured it was the only way I'd get to see him today with all these other Iolausians running around." "I know what you mean. He hasn't been this busy since the last Iolausian gathering. Well, except for that time we got stuck helping the Sultan of Swa'at and we had to hide in his harem for a while...but that's another story." "I'm sure it's a real good story, Herc but I have to find 'Dite fast." "You are starting to look a little flushed." "That's from the heat and from chasing the little one. This is his first trip to an amusement park, you know. You haven't by any chance seen your sister around here?" "Allie and I just came from her Bump and Grind ride. She was there but I saw her leave a few minutes before you showed up. She said something about meeting Heph by the Tunnel of Love." "Thanks Herc. I've got to get over there fast. Once your sister and Hephestus get to the Tunnel of Love we'll never get them out of there." "Here MaryE, let me put Bliss up on your shoulders. You'll be able to move faster through the crowd that way." The demigod settled Bliss on her shoulders and bent down to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll send Iolaus to you the next time I see him. Where will you be?" "After I drop Bliss off I'm heading to the waterfalls to cool off a bit." Mary E ------------------------------------- Melinda smiled as they exited Poseidon's water ride. The Sovereign, dark hair plastered against his forehead, was drenched from heat to foot. "You know, you're starting to get an early shadow," Melinda pointed out rubbing a finger across his cheek. "You'd better shave...nah...forget it. We'll just stay away from JIolaus." "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" the Sovereign hissed. "Yep," Melinda grinned. "And so are you. So stop snarling. Well...at least keep it to a minimum." She frantically waved her arm. "Hey! Ares! We wanna ride the train!" "Oh gods," The Sovereign groaned. Melinda ------------------------------------------- The demigod settled Bliss on her shoulders and bent down to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll send Iolaus to you the next time I see him. Where will you be?" "After I drop Bliss off I'm heading to the waterfalls to cool off a bit." "Why go to the falls, when I can cool you off right here," Kat said as she jumped out of the shadows. She aimed carefully, making sure not to hit Bliss with the blast of water. Herc shook his head as the Amazon got him wet yet again. He'd almost suspect that some of the other Amazons like CJ were paying Kat to make sure he was soaked-- and stayed that way. "Well, off to cool off some others. Hmmm, maybe I should pay Ares a visit," Kat said as she ran off and disappeared into the crowd. Kat -------------------------------------------- Allie stood by the log ride hoping she would find someone to go on it with her. "Hello Allie, my dear." A tall dark man dressed in lederhosen appeared at her side. In his hand he held a nearly empty roll of toilet paper and on his shoulder perched a ferret. "Autolycus." Allie exclaimed, noting with interest the handsome pair of legs emerging from the lederhosen. "Everyone seems to know me." "Ares has a big mouth." Allie nodded at the roll of toilet paper. "If you're looking for the johnnies, I think they're over there" She waved her hand vaguely toward the meeting hall. "Well, no. I've just been doing a little redecorating." He handed the roll to a lady passing by. "Here you go, my good woman. Compliments of the King of Thieves." She gave him a startled look and hurried away. "Now Allie, would you care to accompany me and my little pal on a log ride. Chaos, here, could use a little cooling off." "Chaos? This is the famous Chaos?" Allie reached up and stroked the little ferret and laughed as he nuzzled her fingers. "The one and the same. Shall we go?" They were soon being cranked up the far side of the ride. Allie, who had no head for heights, hung on tightly as the ground fell away. As they poised briefly at the top before taking the final plunge, she looked down. Far below, the people looked very small, but before she could begin to feel dizzy, Autolycus yelled. "here we go!" Allie clutched the bars and Chaos clung to Autolycus' shirt with all four feet. They were drenched by a spray of water as the boat shot down the flume. "Wheee. What a ride." Autolycus hopped out of the boat and gave Allie a hand. "And now, sadly, I must return to my duties," He kissed the hand that he still held. "I shall see you later perhaps? Are you familiar with the chickee dance?" Allie nodded, puzzled, and he went on. "Then I will definitely see you later." "Bye Autolycus. Bye Chaos." Allie scratched the soggy little creature behind the ears. Allie ----------------------------------------- Bwell stepped shakily to find some towels grumbling all the way. "Just wait, Kat...just... Hey, Sal how's the park going? Everyone behaving themselves?" "No!" he grumbles. "I've got Kat running around soaking people." "Tell me about it." "It's getting hotter and hotter. Some creature named Chaos is creating it, chaos not the hot thing. A Hoolie keeps threatening to break out. Ares has been zapping stuff, and if Ceryndip finds out she is going to be Up-SET. I've heard the Sov might be here with Melinda. Jane is soaked to the bone and threatening to join up with Twanky. Iolausians are getting restless with all the Iolaus guys are taken...and some of.." "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What do you mean taken? You told these Iolausians the Iolaii were taken?! Sal! What were you thinking? Remember, we share here. None of the guys...wait, okay, Iolaus2 'cause of the Nautica thing, and well, okay, Hades and the Perseph thingy, Hephy, sure wouldn't want to mess with Aphrodite...Orestes? Well you know till death us do part...He's parted..so he's up for grabs. Look, Everyone else is here to enjoy everyone. Even the guys who are really taken want to make sure everyone has a good time. Well, maybe not Ares...Anyway, remember just to point the Iolausians in the direction of any of the Iol...wait. Are you telling them that so they'll want to take you? Look, Sal, you don't have to that. Ooooh, my oracle senses are humming...Kat's got to be around here again. I'm outta here. Remember just to tell everyone to have fun with all the guys. Gotta find a woman with a catapult." Bwell -------------------------------- Lori climbed out of Hephie's Log Jam ride, sopping wet for the second time that day. Checking her backpack, she discovered her bag of marshmallows were now a congealed gooey mess. ///Gosh darn it, Kat. Now I'm going to have to find so more ammo in case the Hoolie begins. Everyone is paired up..I wonder if I could find that cute Young Iolaus. I spotted him earlier hanging out by the Bump & Grind./// Things were finally quiet on the train, but Lori was definitely rethinking that one, after what happened to Bwell. Unfolding the map, she contemplated her next move. "Psst..psst" Lori looked around. "Who said that?" A man with a funny hat and green teeth was waving a funnel cake in her direction. "C'mere lady, would you like to try a sweet?" "I don't think so, Falefel. Ceryndip warned me about you. And I left my Rolaids in the car." "Maybe a delicious hotdog?" "I don't think so." She grimaced in distaste at the string of footlongs he held up for inspection. Holding up the map that Sal had given her, Lori set off for Hermes Ferris Wheel..hoping the wind might dry her off. Lori ---------------------------------------- Jane meandered into the cool depths of the parks palacious performance hall. What a place! It was beautifully decorated in a German/Greek/Old South/Mexican sorta way. The Widow was in her glory in the spotlight on the stage. Her dancers were apparently on break, because Twanky was going through a solo routine with many flips and swirls that featured her beautiful legs perfectly. As Jane watched from the darkness, she noticed the Widow would ocassionally stop and scratch, which was unusual, because women didn't generally itch *there*. Maybe the Widown's corset was too tight again. Jane approached the dancer during one of her scratching lulls. Twanky was sweating profusely from her workout. Jane offered her the roll of toilet paper that Autolycus had thrust into her hands a while ago. "Twanky, here, use this. I know it's not a hanky, but, well, anything in a pinch, you know." The widow took a big wad from the roll and daintily dabbed at her face. "Thank you, luv," she replied. Then she heaved the damp wad into a trash can with the finesse of a Larry Bird, and looked closely at her benefactress. "Oh, my, deary! You're soaked! What happened to you?" "Oh, it's nothing. I just ran into a crazed water bazooka wielder, that's all. I'll dry. Anyhow, wet gray hair looks darker than dry gray hair. I was wondering if you had all the dancers you needed. I can do the Cotton Eyed Joe, and the Schottiche, the Two-Step, and have a little practice in Medieval dance. I'd love to have a part in your show." "Welllllll, deary, we might can find a place for you. I'll let you audition with the lines. Okay, children, chop chop! Break is over!" As the Widow clapped her hands, the dancers starting filing out from the wings of the theatre. Their costumes were beautiful. Jane hoped they came in XXL. "Okay, let's do the men's chorus one more time. Places, everyone! Anna one, anna two...." Jane almost passed out from her position in the back line. There they all were! Iolaus in tights, Iolaus2 in tights, Orestes in tights, Ares and Hephy and Hades--all in tights! Oooh, baby! Being in the back chorus line was gonna be like the Eleysian Fields! Janes rolls off more of the toilet paper in her hand. And she thought she was hot before! Kaaaaaaaatttttttt!!! Jane ------------------------------------------- Jane almost passed out from her position in the back line. There they all were! Iolaus in tights, Iolaus2 in tights, Orestes in tights, Ares and Hephy and Hades--all in tights! Oooh, baby! Being in the back chorus line was gonna be like the Eleysian Fields! Janes rolls off more of the toilet paper in her hand. And she thought she was hot before! Kaaaaaaaatttttttt!!! Kat wandered through the park, looking for victims. She was feeling kinda hot herself so she decided to head for the shade of the dance hall. She somehow entered the building undetected. She started watching the chorus line practice when she saw Jane at the end. She raised her weapon, making sure it was fully loaded, and aimed at her target. She tightened the pressure on the trigger and pulled as a hand landed on her shoulder. "Hey Kat, been looking for you all day. How are ya? You haven't been avoiding me have you?" Young Iolaus asked. Kat grinned at the young hunter and pulled him into a hug. She looked over his shoulder to see who had gotten sprayed. Jane was totally dry, but Hades, Hephie, and both Iolaii were soaked. Kat grimaced when she saw a water-soaked Twanky heading in her direction. "You know what I'd like to do... come on the Tilt a Whirl with me," the Amazon pulled YI out of the dance hall and started running towards her favorite ride, hoping to lose the Widow Twanky. Kat ----------------------------------- MaryE was still soaking wet but still grateful for the brief respite from the heat. Bliss was sitting contentedly on her shoulders enjoying the ride and Mary's hands were free so she could check on her supply of sprinkles (both chocolate and multi-colored). The double wrapping of plastic bags was enough to protect them from the super soaking blast of water that hit her and the demigod minutes before. The bag of gourmet flavored jelly beans was equally dry. The sound of sobbing reached her hears as they approached the train station and MaryE wondered who could possibly be sad on such a beautiful day in this wonderland. Peaking around the corner of the station Mary and Bliss were confronted by a vision all blond hair, pink fluff and very red eyes. "'Dite, just the person I've been looking for. Are you okay?" "Yes...no, I don't know. I'm feeling sad." "Well, here's Bliss to cheer you up. Cupid asked me to bring him to you." MaryE gladly unloaded her charge into the lap of the goddess of love. "Why so sad 'Dite?" "Well, the Hephster and I were just trying to catch some lip action in the Tunnel of Love ride. Cupie made it a totally awesome place for putting you in the mood, if you know what I mean. Not that I need anything to put me in the mood okay." "Okay 'Dite, so what happened." "Well Echidna and Typhon got there just ahead of us and they were taking so long and being too lovey-dovey and mushy. I mean, even I know you can overdo it sometime. Well, they took so long that Hephy had to run off to practice for Twanky's chorus line and he left me here all alone and I'm the goddess of love with no one to go into the Tunnel of Love with." "'Dite look, you've got Bliss with you now and you can enjoy his first time in an amusement park. Look, here comes Ares with his train. Why don't you take Bliss on a ride around the park until you find something he wants to do?" "Sounds like a plan, MaryE. And Arry's a lot of fun to be with when he's got something to play with. Come on Bliss let's go see grandpa Arrry and his Choo Choo Train." "Um,'Dite I don't think he's gonna like the grandpa part maybe you want to keep that part quiet." "Yeah, but I love to tease him...he's so cute when he's angry." "Right." "Oh, MaryE. Thanks for the cheer up. Just for that you get an extra 10 minutes with Sweetcheeks." 'Yessssss! Off to the waterfalls to cool off... Mary E -------------------------------------- Pythia had given up trying to deliver the rest of her messages in a sensible fashion. There was just too much fun going on to worry about work. The ride on the logjam had been wicked - and having been thoroughly soaked by Kat she figured she might as well stay wet, and headed for the pool for a dip. Nautica was busy conducting synchronised swimming lessons when she arrived, getting several dozen Iolausians to spell out 'Iolaus' and 'Hercules' with appropriately angled arms and legs. "Come on in!" she called. "The water's lovely." It was too. The heat of the day made the shimmering pool a decided enticement and Pythia slipped out of her Kat dampened chiton and waded in. "Oh, this is nice," she decided, smiling at Nautica as the mermaid swum up to join her. "Hi. Is your husband around? Thalia asked me to give him her latest joke book." "She has? Oh, that's great. Now he can work out a new routine for daddy birthday party. He's not here though - he went to rehearse. Widow Twankey's got all the guys in her chorus line." "Oh wow. That I *got* to see." Just then a wild eyed Kat raced past, a laughing Young Iolaus in tow. "Can't stop," she yelled. "I just soaked Widow Twankey ..." "Oops," Pythia chuckled. "Bad move, Amazon!" Sure enough, a moment later a very irate Widow hurtled in pursuit, her skirts hitched up so that she could run faster. "Nice legs," Nautica noted. "Yeah," Pythia agreed. "Almost as nice as - oh, hi Iolaus! Tights?" The jester laughed. "That's showbusiness," he quipped, making a running jump into the water and splashing practically everybody. "Hey, that's Kat's job!" his wife protested with a laugh. Iolaus surfaced with a grin, his tail slapping the surface of the water and producing another surging wave. "Think she's a little busy right now," he observed. "Did I hear something about Thalia's new joke book?" "Oh - yeah." Pythia swam back to the bank and pulled the document out of her bag. Thalia had had the parchment laminated to keep it waterproof. "Here you go. Hot off the press and guaranteed to raise laughs." Iolaus turned over the first page. "Let's see - Mmm. What did the Argo weigh when it first left harbour?" Nautica and Pythia exchanged a puzzled look. "I don't know," they chorused. He grinned. "Its anchor!" "Ohhh," they both groaned. Nautica swept out her arm, swmaping her husband with a wave of water. "Iolaus, that's terrible." "Yeah," he frowned, looked down at the page and then up with a hopeful smile. "But the delivery's terrific, right?" "Right," Pythia laughed. "Don't worry, Nautica. I think the jokes get better later on." "I *always* get better later on," Iolaus quipped, grinning at his wife, who blushed prettily. "Thanks, Pythia." He swam a little closer and gave her a thank you kiss. "I can make good use of this." "You're welcome." "Say," the jester asked, noticing something sticky stuck to the back of his new book. "What exactly are you keeping in that bag of yours?" Pythia winced. "I - uh - borrowed something from the museum. In case I needed some ammo for the hoolie." Iolaus reached across and peeked into the bag, which was beginning to look decidedly full again. "Alright!" he grinned. "That's bound to come in handy later. Or even right now, come to that. Hey," he waved at MaryE who'd just arrived at the poolside. "what would you say to a piece of cherry fudge?" Pythia ----------------------------------- Ceryndip, Hercules and Iolaus2 quietly worked on the catapult. Hercules had changed out the m&m basket for a water filled one. "Gonna give Kat a taste of her own medicine, huh?" he commented. "Yep. Iolaus, have you compensated in your calculation for the heavier weight of the water?" "Yes, no problem. We'll just have to wait until she's in postition and let her have it." "Good, the royal chef and Falafel have just finished laying out the lunch menu, there'll be plenty of food for ammo for everyone." "Get ready," Bwell called from her postion as look out, "here she comes around the log jam." Kat was sneaking around Silently Hercules moved back to the rope on the firing pin. Ceryndip checked the connections one last time and held the water basket steady. Ready to move clear when the pin was pulled. Iolaus gauged the distance and gave the signal. Hercules pulled the pin and once again the great arm swung round, pulling the water container behind it. With considerable force the blob of water was flung through the air. Iolausians everywhere held their breath. The water came crashing down right on target. Kat was soaked......Everyone scrambled for something soft to throw.....Hercules grabbed the m&m basket and struggled to get it loaded into the trebuchet.....Ares halted the train at the station to watch the show......the battle was on......Hoolie anyone? Ceryndip ----------------------------------------------- CJ snuck into the amusement park while Sal was busy talking to a fellow Iolausian she didn't recognize. She looked around for the heroes and grinned as she spotted Kat heading for Hercules. She got closer and sighed dreamily as her little sister hit the demi-god with her blaster. Herc shook his head as the Amazon got him wet yet again. He'd almost suspect that some of the other Amazons like CJ were paying Kat to make sure he was soaked-- and stayed that way. His eyes narrowed as he saw CJ tossing a dinar to Kat as she passed. Little minx, he'd made her pay later, he vowed to himself. CJ took one last lingering glance at the wet Herk, he would always be her first and foremost love, and headed off to see more of the fabulous park. She stopped short at seeing her favorite God at the train. Ares was just letting off some riders so the amazon snuck around the other side and jumped up behind him in the engine car. "Hey..what? Oh CJ" Ares rolled his eyes. "What do you think you're doing? Riders have to sit back there." "All by myself?" she pouted up at the tall gorgeous God. She slipped her arms around his waist and grinned wickedly. "Why don't you show me what you got." His dark eyes flashed dangerously as he lowered his head slowly. CJ licked her lips, in anticipation he thought, then she smiled wider. "I meant the train" she giggled. He growled and kissed her anyway before taking the controls once more. The blonde clung to him as he shot out of the station like a bullet. CJ's yells of exhiliration rang in his ears and they both laughed heartily as they barrelled around the tracks. CJ ----------------------------- Ziggy shook out her hair. Finally! It was starting to dry! She figured it wouldn't take long in the hot sun. After a quick swim around the Aquatic Park with JIolaus and Nautica, then an exciting, but drenching, ride on the Log Flume, she decided to just walk around see what kind of "trouble" she could get herself into. Heading for the Dance Hall to see how rehearsals for tonight's show were going, she had to jump back as Kat and teen Iolaus raced by, giggling even though they ran like Hades was on their tails. A few seconds later, a very wet Twanky passed her. The Widow was running pretty fast considering she had her skirts hitched up and shoes not exactly made for running on. As the dance instructor shot past, Ziggy vowed never to underestimate *that* lady again! Sal walked by, wringing his hands in worry. "Hey, Sal, what's wrong?" "Oh, everything! Ares is running rampant on the train and zapping everything, Autolycus is threatening to TP everything, Kat's soaking everybody! It's-it's a disaster!" "Hey, everybody's just having fun!" Ziggy reassured. "Don't sweat it!" She giggled. "Maybe you need a shot from Kat's SuperSoaker to cool off abit!" Sal didn't seem to notice. "And then there's this Chaos beast running around, stealing everything like he was Autolycus Junior! He ran off with the computer disc that contained Ceryndip's Hoolie Battle Plans! If she finds out--" Ziggy decided now would not be the time to claim ownership of her fuzzy companion. "I wouldn't worry about that! Ceryn probably has it all memorized by now! She's been planning this thing for far too long than to let a little thing like missing Battle Plans stop her!" "You think?" Sal looked at her hopefully. "I *know*!" Ziggy assured. "Now, why don't you enjoy yourself? Have a hot dog..." "But Falafel made them!" "I had one, I'm fine! Fortune must have flipped good luck on her coin today. Grab a dog and take a ride on the Log Flume! Cool off! Relax! Don't worry about the little things! Iolausians are tough, we'll make it through." "If you think--" Sal began. "GO!" The dark-haired shoved the rotund man towards the food stands. Watching the man walk away, Ziggy smiled. The man was just too worrisome. He needed to lighten up abit. Ah, well... Stepping into the dance hall, Ziggy gave her eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness. Then she caught movement on the stage and heard male voices talking and laughing. "Oh, my...." Ziggy grabbed the nearest chair to steady herself. Up on stage, in tights and very revealing tunics, was both Iolaii, Orestes, and several yummy gods. And many of them were wet, the tunics clinging to their bodies in interesting places, showing such *nice* phyisque! 'I've died and gone to Elysium!' She glanced upwards. "Thank you, Zeus!" "Ziggy! C'mon up!" Ziggy didn't need to be urged twice. She managed to walk down the aisle without tripping or running into anything, then jumped up onto the stage. Both Iolauses gave quick kisses before she found herself looking at yet another Iolaus-lookalike. "Orestes, cousin, this is Ziggy, one of the Iolausian bards." Orestes gently took her hand and kissed the back. "My pleasure, Ziggy." "My pleasure, as well!" Ziggy said. "You know, you would already know Orestes if you would write about the poor man!" Iolaus teased. "I'm sorry, but my Muse..." "Quite all right!" Orestes assured, giving Iolaus a pointed look. Iolaus looked so innocent, however, he couldn't help but laugh. "My cousin can be very inspiring. And he takes torture so much better than I do!" "Hey!" Ziggy relaxed then, knowing Orestes wasn't angry. "So, taking a break? If you're waiting for Twanky to return, it may take awhile. Kat and Young Iolaus were moving pretty quickly when I saw them." Ares stepped up. "I have to give it to the old lady, she can move pretty fast herself! And I don't mean just running!" Ares glanced at the others. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I have more important things to do! I've got a train to keep on schedule!" With that, Ares waved his hand and vanished. "And I'm sure 'Dite's upset by my abrupt departure. I left her at the entrance to the Love Tunnel." "Ouch!" the rest grimaced. "Not good, Hephestus!" Iolaus replied. "You'd better get back there! An angry Aphrodite is not a good thing!" "Oh, Heph," Ziggy added, "thanks for the modifications to my hoolie weapon." The God of the Forge smiled. "My pleasure! Use it well!" He flashed out. "I should go check on the House of Horrors," Hades, looking quite uncomfortable being the only god left, remarked. He, too, left and Ziggy found herself with "the triplets." Remembering Ceryn's words about not hogging any one of the more famous guests, Ziggy sighed. She didn't want to be accused of doing just that, but was it *her* fault these three just happened to be here at the same time, with her? Of course not! Besides, she wasn't hogging, she was just having a darn good time! A *real* darn good time! "Did you hear about the ferret running around stealing everything?" Orestes said. Ziggy exchanged quick glances at both Iolauses. "Oh, no, what's he doing now?" "Well, it seems he ran off with Cerynip's computer disc and several of the female dancers' shoes and my royal circlet is missing. The gods only know what else is missing!" Ziggy cracked an embarrassed smile. "Oh, Chaos is doing what he does best... he's living up to his name..." Ziggy ---------------------------------------- Allie settled down by the enchanted pool, removed her sneakers, and dangled her tired feet in the deliciously cool water. Iolaus2 and Nautica stopped by to chat. She was having a marvelous time. She'd met Bwell, Margui. Kitt and Joxer at the Log Jam and had pried Joxer away from Kitt long enough for a wild ride on the Tilt-a-Whirl. Melinda with the sovereign in tow, who wasn't nearly as nasty as she had expected, had stopped to chat on the midway. Aphrodite had dragged her on the Screaming Hydra, promising to use her goddess powers to keep the car on the track and not let Allie fall out on the loop, and she'd had a romantic ride in Cupid's Tunnel of Love with a gallant Jason. Ziggy, Lori and Pompeii were flitting about the playground and she had stopped to tell them about Chaos' ride on the logs. She'd wandered to Widow Twanky's dance hall and watched Jane dancing in the chorus line until Kat and her Hoolie Soaker crashed the party. Following Young Iolaus and Kat to the Enchanted Pool, she'd met MaryE, who was on an Iolaus quest of her own. Allie sighed. She thought she spotted him once with Owlie, but it turned out to be Orestes on leave from the Elysian Fields. She got up, put her shoes on and said goodbye to Nautica and Iolaus2 (who was so sweet, but not Iolaus), and waved at Pythias who swam lazily by. She turned back to the playground to continue her search for the elusive Golden Hunter. Allie ------------------------------------------------------ Margui walked out of Hades House of Horrors laughing hysterically. Those going into the attraction looked at toward her and began shaking their head. They were truly beginning to doubt her sanity. "What's so funny?" Autolycus asked as he approached her. "Oh, I'm sorry," Margui apologized trying hard to wipe the grin off her face. "Hades allowed me to go inside his house of horrors and scare the bejeebers out of the members of the Gold Apple mailing list." Auto laughed. "Now I know just what your sisters CJ, Jamie, Kitt and Kat mean when they say you have a warped sense of humor." "Can't help it," Margui giggled, "you know the Golden Apple-ites really do defy the laws of gravity. I could swear some of them actually tried to run through mid air. You know, kinda like you and Iolaus did in 'One Fowl Day'" "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Enough about you. Let's talk about me." Autolycus said changing the subject, "I need you." "Finally," Margui thought to herself. She had never really forgiven Iolaus for introducing her to Autolycus. Now, she had the biggest crush on the dark headed thief but up until know he never really noticed. "I need someone to do the 'chickee' dance with." Autolycus said as he grabbed her thin hand. "Oh.....no, not me Auto," she backed up as her hand slipped out of his, "I don't dance. In fact someone once described me as looking like a grass-hopper when I danced." "Come on, Margui. I've seen you on videotape doing 'Give Me A Clue'. You are certainly not afraid of embarrassing yourself." "Gee, thanks Auto. Why not karaoke? That I can do. Put me up on a stage and hypnotize me. Then I'll cluck like a chicken if you want me to. But please don't ask me to dance the 'chickee' dance." Autolycus poured on the charm. He was as masterful at that as he was thievery. "You don't want me to be up there all alone do you? It won't be the same without you. Even if everyone is laughing at you." Finally, Autolycus pulled out his big gun (naughty, naughty girls!) "I'll convince Kat to let you play with her super soaker??" "Oh.......okay! But you have to do a favor for me," Margui said as she took Auto's hand. "Ride with me in Cupid's Tunnel of Love." Margui ------------------------------------ MaryE arrived at the enchanted pool and waved to Nautica and Pythia just as Iolaus2 jumped in creating quite a splash. She was just about to remove her Caftan and join them in the inviting blue waters when the voice she'd been waiting to hear all day rang out loud and clear behind her. "MaryE, Herc told me I'd find you here." Spinning around she found herself confronted with a vision in tights and vest...but no shoes. Swallowing hard around the lump in her throat Mary managed to squeek out "Iolaus, it's been so long and you look just wonderful." "Yeah well, you look the same too...I mean exactly the same with your hair all messed up like that it's exactly like the last time..." "Well that tends to happen when you can't see what you're doing in the dark and If I remember you hair was a bit on the mussed up side too." Several Iolausians turned their heads to listen in on the conversation and the two found themselves in the center of a curious circle. "What? We were in a cave hunting mushrooms for the big guy's last birthday party. He just loves mushrooms. What did you think?" The circle of Iolausians disbursed and Iolaus pulled MaryE over to sit on a log next to the pool. It seems that Twanky had danced their feet off and the normally energetic hunter was complaining about his aching feet. "Here, give me your feet and I'll show you some tricks I learned durig MY travels in the east." Mary told the hunter. "Oh, yessss. Feels good. I really wanted to talk to you about Herc's next birthday party. You lived in Egypt for a while, right?" "Sure, why?" "Well when we were there Herc really enjoyed these things they cooked there -- stuffed veggies. They stuffed everything, peppers, zucchini, eggplants and even leaves. He said I ate too much over there but you should have seen him put those things away. Could I impose on you to make some of them for his next party." "Of course, Iolaus, you can count on me. And it means I'll get to see you again soon." "Great. Thanks for the foot massage, maybe I can return the favor later. Let's take a quick dip in the pool before I have to get back to chorus practice." "Wait Iolaus! Did you hear that?" "Yeah, it sounds like the hoolie's started. Did you bring the ammo?" "How could I forget." "Just grab your bag and we'll go. I've got the perfect place all picked out next to Falafal's stand. There'll be plenty of extra ammo over there and we've got a few secret weapons hidden in that area too." "Kewl! Maybe we can find Allie on our way -- I hear she's got a really great throwing arm and perfect aim. Let's go!" Mary E -------------------------------------------- "Hooyah!" Pythia scooped up a handful of confectionery and let fly with gusto, not entirely caring who it might be aimed at. Hercules had succeeded in reloading the catapult and she saw Kat dive for cover as m&ms rained everywhere. A hail of soft fruit and pastry hurtled across the lawns and she suddenly realised she was decidedly exposed. She grabbed the cornucopia and made a run for the train, ducking flying cake as she went. Ares put out a hand to help her up onto the footplate. "Battle!" he declared with relish. "Pity I don't have any ammunition to hand." "I've got plenty," Pythia grinned, tipping the cornucopia up so that sweets and glazed fruit poured out in abundance. "Kiwi fruit?" "Nothing but a scandalous rumour ... Oh. I see what you mean." An evil gleam came to the war gods eye. "Hey - if I take this train round the track, we can ambush Ceryndip and my goody two shoes brother from behind! Who's with me?" "Me." CJ announced immediately. "Me too." "And me," came a chorus of voices. Within seconds Ares had his own private army, fully armed and dangerous. Pythia hurried down the cars, tipping out ammunition as she went. "Room for one more?" a warm voice questioned just as the train began to pull away. She looked up to see Iolaus leap for the back rail and haul himself aboard. "Ah - sure. But shouldn't you be on Hercules' side?" "Nah," the hunter laughed. "We like to square off when this sort of thing goes down. Balances the odds. Besides, he's already got one Iolaus with him - and I owe him for - oh, I don't know, but I owe him back for *something*." "Well," Pythia grinned, "in that case - welcome aboard! With you and Ares leading the attack we can't possibly fail." Iolaus giggled, which made Pythia go a little weak at the knees. *Nobody* giggled the way the Golden Hunter did. "You'd better believe it," he said. "Especially with Orestes making a counter attack from the front pretending to be me. Herc won't know what's hit him!" "Ah- " Pythia glanced into the cornucopia. "How about profiteroles? And I think there's some cream and apple doughnuts too ..." The hunter grinned. "Pythia," he announced, leaning forward to give her a quick kiss. "I just love the way you think! Hang on to those doughnuts. I'm going to rally the troops" And he made his way along the swaying train, checking that each and every member of the mobile assault force was armed and ready ... Pythia ------------------------------------------------ Lori was glad the last ride she chose was the Hermes Ferris Wheel. From that vantage point, high overlooking the park, she could see m&ms flying across startled Iolausians who quickly ran for cover. Reaching into her bag of marshmallows, Lori spied Kat diving for cover and managed to pelt her with a few gooey pieces before she slipped behind the obstruction. Ah revenge! Not wanting to out alone during the battle, Lori clambered down off the Ferris Wheel and ran after Iolaus, who she spied running past. "Hey, hey, wait for me!" Iolaus spun and dazzled her with a smile that made her head swim. "Climb aboard and grab some ammo. We're going to get the Demigod and his friends in a sneak attack." Iolaus' hair glinted golden in the sun, nearly blinding Lori, but she managed to get it together and scrambled inside a car in Ares' train. Just as she sat down, Pythia ran by and handed her a warm sticky glob of what looked like a doughnut. "Get ready!" Pythia shouted. Hunkering down, she peeked out with wide eyes and waited to see what would happen next, her gaze never leaving her hero. Lori ----------------------------------------------- "Time for one last load before the train gets here, then it's every amazon and hero for themselves!" Ceryndip tossed a last shovel full of m&m's into the basket as Hercules reset the catapult one last time. The train came chugging around the bend at the log jam and Iolaus2 gave the signal to let fly. m&m's scattered everywhere, pelting not only the train but all around it. "Here's to superior range!" Ceryndip called as they ran for the enchanted pool. Nautica was waiting for them, "Hurry, they are still coming!" As the little band of heroes and amazons dove into the clear, cool water, Nautica pulled a rope and a huge fishing net rose up to surround the pool area just as the train rolled by. Ceryndip surfaced to be lightly splattered by bits of food most of which was deflected by the net. Ceryndip giggled, "I love it when a plan comes together!" she lazily swam toward the channel that would take her to the hot springs. Operating a trebuchet is hard work. Ceryndip --------------------------------------------- Allie was standing by the meeting hall when someone came up behind her and touched her shoulder. Whirling she saw a pair of gorgeous blue eyes beneath a tumble of blonde curls. Iolaus looked flushed and excited. "C'mon, Allie. The Iolausians are running amok. The hoolies's about to break out. Follow me." "How did you...?" Allie began, but he was off. Allie ran after him and soon found herself being pulled aboard Ares' train. The playground was in turmoil with squishy missiles flying in every direction. Pythias loaded her up with ripe kiwi and apple doughnuts. She spotted the demigod in the crowd and nailed him in the back of the head with a doughnut only to receive something wet and sticky under her left eye. Allie stood in the crowded car with Iolaus and a bunch of happy Iolausians as the bombardment continued unabated. So this was a hoolie! Bliss. Allie ------------------------------------------------------- Everyone held their breath as the train hurtled round the bend. The Hoolie seemed to have broken out everywhere; Salmoneus, Aphrodite and Young Iolaus were stranded on top of the logjam, gallantly defending themselves from a bombardment of snowcones. Demeter was leading the attack, and a group of enthusiastic Iolusians were determinedly targetting the young man with the golden hair, who was just as determinedly trying to prevent the Goddess of Love from getting splatted. "That's me up there alright," Iolaus quipped, grinning at the uneven conflict. "Everybody down here ready?" A series of nods answered his question. Lori flashed him a grin over her pile of marshmallows and doughnuts. MaryE waved readiness from the middle car and CJ stood guard by the God of War's shoulder, armed for action. "Look," Pythia said, pointing at the roof of the meeting hall. A tall, dark haired figure was up there, directing another group of revellers who were bombarding food in all directions. "The King of Thieves is playing King of the Castle." "All the better for us," Ares called back. "Hercules and Ceryndip will be too busy defending themselves again him to notice us sneaking up behind." "On my mark," Iolaus commanded, crouching down and scooping up a gooey handful of cake and cream. "Get ready ..." Ares chuckled. His hand went out, gently easing down on the power so that the train slowly crawled into position behind the group around the catapult. Kat and Orestes were leading a frontal assault on their position, and Hercules was busy fending off flying flapjacks with a determined grin on his face. "Easy," Iolaus murmured. "Wait for it ... *Now!*" Ares slammed on the brake. Everyone leapt to their feet and threw. A veritable avalanche of food launched itself from the train. Hercules was covered with cream within seconds. Iolaus2 went down under a hail of doughnuts, and Ceryndip and the rest of them ran laughing for cover. "Gotcha!" Iolaus crowed, leaping up in triumph. It was a mistake. Hercules had only been phased for a moment. He grabbed the nearest weapon (a large gateaux that Iphicles had brought over from the luncheon spread) and threw. The cake sailed through the air with perfect accuracy, tumbling in slow motion until - with an undeniable *splat* - it hit Iolaus straight in the face. "Phpffh," he spluttered, sitting down with a startled thump. His entire supporting squad let out an indignant yell and began to pelt the now advancing demi-god with marshmallows and fudge. "Go, go, *go*," Pythia yelled, waving at Ares, who was laughing his head off. Since he showed no sign of obeying the suggestion, CJ leapt for the controls, setting the train into forward motion. A barrage of sticky objects encouraged their hasty escape. "Are you okay?" Lori asked the hunter, who was carefully wiping cream and jam out of his eyes. He nodded. "Should've remembered," he grinned, emerging from the goo. "Herc never misses. Oh-oh ..." "What?" MaryE frowned, the worried note in his voice distracting her from the unquestionably delicious combination of blue eyes and apricot jam. "This train's on a loop, right? Which means - " "They're all gonna get you back the minute you emerge from the tunnel." Ares was practically howling with laughter. "Oh, that *was* a delicious sight. Just don't expect me to hang around for the sequel." He vanished in a flare of light, leaving CJ wrestling with the controls as the train was swallowed up by the tunnel ... Pythia ------------------------------------------------- Ziggy laughed as she ducked behind a large tree as the ambush set by the Train Warriors clobbered Hercules and poor JIolaus was buried in a hail of donuts. Wiping some cream off her face, she peered around the tree in time to see Iolaus getting clobbered with a cake. "Yeees!" she cheered. "Good shot, Big Guy!" "Ziggy, when did you arrive?" "Just now! Couldn't miss all the fun, could I?" She helped JIolaus to his feet. The former jester was covered from head to foot in donut glaze and cream filling. "Whoa!" was all JIolaus said. Ceryndip came running up to join them. "I just saw Ares leave the train. He's left it running and you know what they say, 'What goes around, comes around.' That train will be back around for another pass and we'll be ready for them!" Ziggy quickly ducked as some grapes flew overhead from Orestes' direction. "Since the cat's done with, let's go on the defensive!" She pulled out her Hephestus-motified sling shot. When she loaded it with a projectile--today it was Jelly Babies left over from her last Dr. Who video marathon--and the item was launched, hundreds of the thing magically, or godlike, appeared midair and rained down on the victims. "Let's go!" Ziggy urged as everybody picked up their Hoolie weapons and raced towards the end of the train tunnel to ambush Iolaus and his Iolausian warriors. Ziggy ------------------------------------- "Pythia, do you still have that cherry fudge" asked the cake drenched Golden Hunter. When she replied in the affirmative he asked the other Iolausians on the train how their ammo was holding up. Everyone still had plenty of sticky, gooey and sweet projectiles -- enough for at least two more full attacks. "Good, something's just not right but I can't put my finger on it. MaryE, go check with Jason in the caboose and see if he has anything to add." "Okay, I'll be right back," and she quickly made her way over piles of jelly donuts, vats of chocolate pudding and gigantic super soaker canons filled with super sweek cappuccino to find Jason at the back of the train." "Jason, Iolaus sent me to see if everything was ready back here." "MaryE, sure tell Iolaus everything's ready for the assault but I've been having a bad feeling that something's not exactly right about this -- like we're being set up somehow." "Iolaus has the same feeling but he can't put his finger on it." "If I only had Iphicles here he'd be able to help us with the...wait, that's it! They're a team -- brilliant. Ares disappeared and Iph hasn't been around much today they must be planning something together. Go tell Iolaus." Mary scampered back as fast as she could to tell Iolaus what Jason feared. CJ, Pythia and Allie all nodded in agreement (and all were secretly wishing that they had thought of something so strategically brilliant). "Jason's right. Ares and Iph must be up to something and it's going to happen the minute we come out of this tunnel. Herc, Ceryndip, Ziggy and Iolaus2 are going to be waiting there to ambush us. This way Ares and Iph have us all exactly where they want us." "Um, Iolaus can I say something" inquired Allie? "Sure Allie, what's on your mind." "Well, when I was over by the front gate I heard one of the kitchen workers complaining to Salmoneus that there were six barrels of butterscotch sauce missing from the meeting hall. Do you think that could have something to do with Iph's plans?" A chorus of "Oh,oh's" could be heard from the train as it barreled towards the opening of the tunnel. Mary E ----------------------------------------- As soon as Ares slowed the train, Melinda grabbed the Sov's arm and yanked him onto the pavement. "Hoolie!" she yelled. "What's a..." The Sov ducked as several M&M's flew in his direction. "I'll explain later!" Melinda grinned. "Just grab some of Falafel's food...DON'T EAT IT...He's not YOUR Falafel...and start throwing it at Kat." Grinning evilly, the Sov grabbed a nearby funnel cake and heaved it in Kat's direction. Melinda motioned towards a large bag of powdered sugar. The Sov grabbed it and together they dumped it over Kat. "Drench her!" Melinda ordered. Then she saw Iolaus2's eyes widen. "Uh-oh." Melinda grabbed the Sov's arm and pulled him away. "Now what!? It's just getting interesting!" The Sov complained. Melinda sighed. It was SO hard to be firm when the Sov glowered like that. "I think JIolaus just caught sight of you." She saw Ares gleefully joining in the hoolie. She wistfully stared at the train then shook her head. "Even I'm not stupid enough to touch Ares'...train." She turned and tugged the Sovereign after her. "C'mon. Let's check out Hades' Hall of Horrors." Melinda ------------------------------------------------------------ The train sped ever closer to the end of the tunnel. Allie felt herself gripped with battle frenzy as she loaded up her t-shirt with every piece of ammo she could find that was still in throwable condition. Iolaus and the other Iolausians were also preparing themselves. The train hurtled onward carrying them to the ambush that surely awaited them. Allie --------------------------------------- "I'm NOT running from the scene of battle!" The Sov angrily snorted. "Especially when Ares and what's-his-name are setting up some sort of ambush!" "Say what?" Melinda shaded her eyes and looked at the entrance of the train tunnel. "Iphicles! I wondered why I hadn't seen him all day!" She matched the Sovereign's evil smile. "C'mon." Running towards the god & king, she waved her arms. "Need some help with that, Ares? Iphicles?" Ares groaned. Iphicles snickered. "So that's what my brother's twin looks like." He grinned at Ares. "It's poetic justice." "Do NOT mess this up," Ares warned. Melinda batted her eyelashes at the dark god even as the Sov bristled. "Not to worry," she assured him. "Just tell us what you want thrown." Melinda -------------------------------------- "Oh, Melinda...save your strength for the celebration. You don't have to throw anything. That's the beauty of Iph's little plan," giggle the god of war. "Ares, you're giggling! Please stop it, you're scaring me." The god of war moved to pull Melinda close to his side to offer her a greeting and divulge the secret of the attack but she felt the Sov stiffen and pull her back possessively. "Anything you want to tell Melinda you can tell me too." "Well, I was going to tell her she smells wonderful and I like what she's done with her hair - but that doesn't seem to apply to you!" Melinda had her hands full (so to speak)with the two handsome men towering over her, but she still had the presence of mind to ask about Iph's plan. "The beauty of the thing," Iph explained, "is that none of us has to get our hands dirty. And the king pointed to Pegasus with an enourmous canvas bucket hooked under him. Like one of those water carriers they use for putting out forest fires. "On Ares signal Pegasus will fly up over the entrance of the tunnel when Ceryndip and Hercules and their team get ready to ambush the train. As the train exits the tunnel it will trip a wire attached to the bottom of the canvas bucket and...voila! Everyone gets a liberal coating of butterscotch sauce." "I can't wait to see my brother's face." Mary E -------------------------------------------- "Do you see what I see?" Autolycus asked, shading his eyes to stare across at the distant tunnel entrance. "No," Widow Twankey answered, fluttering her eyelashes at him. "I'd much rather enjoy the current view ..." The King of thieves sighed. "Stop looking at a cream covered Hercules and take a closer look at where he's heading. That looks like a cunning plan to me, and I ought to know. I've come up with enough of my own." Widow Twankey swung round and looked where he was pointing. There was Ares, along with Iphicles, *another* Hercules, Melinda - and Pegasus, hovering above the train tunnel entrance. "Well, I *never*," she proclaimed. "That's going to get absolutely everybody. And that Ares - he's not even spattered yet. Disgracefful." "Yeah." Autolycus paced along the rooftop, pondering options. He could warn Hercules, and save half the party goers from getting totally gooed. He *could* just sit back and watch the fun. On the other hand ... "You know - if I could just get up onto Pegasus, I could steer him back over that little group and scotch their wonderful plan before they know it." "And just how," the widow asked archly, "are you planning on doing that? The train will be out of that tunnel any second you know. Look - Hercules and Ceryndip are already in position." "I'm working on it. I'm working on it ... Of *course!*" Autolycus raced to the other side of the roof and waved to Aphrodite, who was still fending off snowcones. She waved back, giggled, and vanished, leaving Salmoneous and Young Iolaus to their fate. A golden shimmer announced her arrival on the roof. "Ain't this just bitchin?" she squealed as she materialised. "I haven't had so much fun since Pan threw a party for the Maenads." "Uh - yeah." Autolycus steered her over to show her the problem. "But everything's about to hit the proverbial down there - and everybody else with it. I need to get onto Pegasus -and quick. Any ideas?" "Plenty," she answered, looking him and his lederhosen up and down. "Oh - you mean about the problem. Well ... Hold on a moment." She disappeared in a puff of pink rose petals, only to reappear again almost immediately. There were a pair of golden sandals clasped to her chest. "Here you are. Use these. Oh - uh, Twankey? I kinda promised Hermes you'd meet him over at the tunnel of love ..." "Atta girl." Autolycus grabbed the sandals and started strapping them on. Twankey sighed. "The sacrifices I make for my friends," she proclaimed dramatically. Then a wicked smile crossed her face. "I'll be there before you can say 'Supercallifragilisticexpiallydocius'" "Why would I want to?" Aphrodite asked puzzledly. "Duh!" The King of Thieves shuffled his feet. Golden sparks leapt from the sandals - and then he was flying through the air like a water bomb thrown from Ceryndip's catapult. Straight towards the winged horse and Ares master plan. "Whoooaaaoaoa ...." Pythia -------------------------------------- Melinda snickered. "Somebody, please tell me you brought popcorn for this. I always have popcorn when watching an ambush!" There was a flash of light & Strife appeared. "One load of popcorn coming up!" The Sovereign immediately looked up. "Just who's side is he on anyway?" The god, demigod, king, and bard yelped as popcorn kernels rained down on them from the cloudless sky. "STRIFE!" Ares bellowed. Melinda --------------------------------------------- Ceryndip's troops all lay in wait behind various pieces of foliage, hoolie weapons held at ready, waiting for the train to come out of the tunnel and around the slight bend before their 'attack' would begin. Ziggy loaded up several Jelly Babies into her slingshot. "Hey, what's that?" JIolaus asked, pointing upward. They all looked skyward to see Pegasus hovering in position, a large canvas bag under his belly. "I think we're in trouble--" Cerydnip muttered. "Look! It's Auto!" Ziggy pointed at the King of Thieves, being held aloft by... were those Hermes sandals? Auto was winging his way swiftly towards the winged stallion overhead. 'There are more things in heaven and Earth, than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Horatio,' Ziggy thought to herself. "What's going on?" she hollered to her companions. "A strategic retreat is in order, I think!" Hercules advised, waving an arm for the small group to pull back. They retreated somewhat, but found themselves watching the King of Thieves. Auto had reached Pegasus and clammered awkwardly onto the beautiful stallion's back. He appeared to be urging the horse elsewhere, but to no avail. They heard the train coming through the tunnel. Ziggy looked behind her. "Braxis! Little help here!!" ziggy ---------------------------------------- Kat smiled. She was in her element. She loved the thrill of battle, the rush of adrenaline, and the taste of the ammo. She ran a hand through her short light brown hair, hoping to remove some of the goo. She had already switched her ammo and was carrying her Hoolie pack. "Glad I scoped out the park early to set things up," she declared. Iola Beth looked confused. She had finally found the time to sneak to the amusement park for a few minutes, but when she got to the park, it looked like a war zone. She took a deep breath as Orestes hurried her way. "Iola, I was so afraid that you wouldn't make it in time," the deceased King of Attica said. "What happened? I just got here, and this place looks like a hurricane hit," the Iolausian replied. "A hurricane named Kat, though she really isn't to blame for this," Orestes said. "That's good to hear," Kat said as she stepped out of the shadows. She pulled the trigger on her Hoolie Modified Super Duper XPL99999999999999999999999, coating both Iola Beth and Orestes in grape juice and strawberry jam. "Muhahahahahahahahaa." Kat left a trail of colorful Amazons and Heroes in her wake. IolausToo ands Nautica had found the pool filled with lime Jell-O. Hephie and Dite had been hit by cherry cheesecakes in the shape of hearts. Herc and CJ had been soaked with lemonade. Melinda and the Sov were stuck together with gooey caramel sauce. Melinda made a mental note to thank Kat later. Ceryndip, Bwell and Pythia had been hit by M&M's from Kat's Hoolie Uzi. Margui and Autolycus were trapped in taffy and licorice. Falafel had been forced to eat his own food. Allie and Pompeii had been drenched in tomato sauce. Hades had been ambushed and covered in banana cream pies. Ares was sopping wet. Somehow the Amazon had rigged it so that a vat of karo syrup had poured all over him. Jane had been drenched with grape juice. Iolaus had been coated with chocolate pudding--- luckily he had many volunteers to help him clean up. Owlie was covered with marshmallows and coconut. Kat giggled as she looked at her latest target. "KAT! I can't believe you attacked me," YI complained. "Hey all's fair in love and war," the Amazon giggled. "Besides I'll help you clean up," she purred as she licked the chocolate frosting off his ear. "Hmmmmmm," he moaned. Kat giggled as she saw Kat ---------------------------------- As the battle raged about her, Jane sat in the fountain, letting the water wash the grape juice from her person. She was missing the hoolie, but she didn't care. She had even brought hoolie ammo this time--those disgusting, sugary, gooey orange slices, one of the very few candies she wouldn't eat. She'd even practiced some with her slingshot beforehand, and gotten pretty good with it, too. But, all this was forgotten. She'd seen and been in Paradise! The exceedingly sticky Ceryndip and Bwell ran past, but put on the brakes when they viewed the completely blissed out Amazon sitting in the fountain. "Jane, what do you think you're doing? Get out of that fountain, and join in the fray!" "Oh, girls, you haven't been where I've been and seen what I've seen. I must still relish the moment. Time could stop for me now, and I'd be complete. Sigh." Ceryndip and Bwell glanced worriedly at each other. "I think she musta got some fermented Dr Pepper," Bwell whispered. "Oh, no. No DP at all," answered the figure in the fountain. "It was the Widow Twanky. She is a goddess! A true queen among all women! She deserves statues and temples all her own." Jane wiped a purple smear from her face as she became emotional. "Huh?" her confused comrades asked in unison. Jane continued, her eyes not focusing on her surroundings at all. She was seeing something beyond. "Twanky let me dance in her chorus line. She let me dance in the back. Behind the men's line. And, she dressed them in TIGHTS! Oh, double sigh! Tights, I tell you. It was beauty beyond comparison. I have never seen, nor will ever see again, such a sight. My friends, the best buns are not in the bakery. They were all there, and I mean *all*, right in front of me, and I lost myself in the sight." Another deep sigh issued forth. "They--Iolaus and Iolaus and Orestes and Ares and Hephaestus and Hades--in tights! Such beauty. Such grace! Those cheeks. Those.... They were each and every one so well...they were so very well...so well...." Ceryndip and Bwell had momentarily forgotten the battle, as they hung on Jane's every word. "...so perfectly well...........coordinated. Sigh." Ceryndip looked at her friend Bwell, then bent to wave her hand in front of Jane's face. There was no response. Ceryn straightened up and shrugged her shoulders. "Well, she's a goner. It must be shellshock. We'll just hafta remember to come pick her up and take her home when the park closes. Look, she's even eating her orange slices." Bwell just shook her head and she and Ceryndip went to rejoin the forces. From the fountain could be heard the deep sighs and occasional slightly demented giggles of a woman who had witnessed perfecrtion, and lived to tell about it. Jane ---------------------------------------------------- Completely plastered with strawberry juice and kiwi bits, Pompeii pounded her $1 plastic squirt on the ground. "Darn it, darn it, darn it! I can't believe the stupid thing jammed up in the middle of the hoolie," she muttered to herself. "Next time, I use apple juice instead of ketchup." "Talking to youself? First sign of madness, you know," Ceryndip commented as she passed by. "Oh, I'm way passed first sign," Pompeii laughed. "I'm into Ares' version of the Twilt-a-Whirl craziness. Hey, is this thing closing up?" " 'Fraid so." "Well, there's still one thing I haven't done yet that I've wanted to do for a long long time." She resolutely walked over to Iolaus (not Orestes, or the J.Iolaus, but the bona fide original) and planted a long kiss on his mouth. At his somewhat startled look, Pompeii blushed deeply and ran away, unable to keep the ridiculously pleased grin off her face. Pompeii ------------------------------------- After all the food had been thrown and the party goers had hit the showers, they all gathered on the benches outside the cliffside amphitheater. Twanky had orchestrated a magnificent show with singing and dancing and gods and heroes alike in tights. Autolycus lead the group in a rousing sing along and group performance of the "chickee dance" all around the area. The final event of the weekend involved an explosive fireworks display by Ares from the top of the cliffs overlooking the enchanted pool. That night after everyone had climbed back into their chariots and gone home, Zeus sent a thunderstorm to wash away the debris from the park so that next time the Iolausians decided to throw a party, nothing would still be sticky. Even Falafel had a good time. And to all a good night.... _____________________________ Well done everybody, this was fun! For ya'll information the photos were taken at Fiesta Texas during the last Texas Iolausian gathering and that's why there wasn't a gathering report....little Iolaus and little Ares and little Auto did come along but we were too busy scheming this little shindig to have much else to report. Love Ceryndip -------------------------------