Virtual Survivor Immunity Challenge Week 4:

Write a limerick either about Iolaus or one that Iolaus might say.

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To the game goddesses and other readers,

Here's a very bad poem, but enjoy nevertheless..well at least it 
rhymes in the right places :)

Iolaus is a flirt
He chases any female in a skirt
In order to pursue justice, Iolaus lays his life on the line
To help complete strangers and destroy monsters, Iolaus faces danger 
every single time,
Iolaus would do anything to save the life of and watch over his best 
buddy and soulmate, Herc

flirt/skirt/line/time/herc 

Okay..okay..here's another try..it's practically the same poem:

Iolaus is a flirt
He chases any female in a skirt
Iolaus lays his life on the line
To help Hercules, the hero every time
Iolaus is my Captain Kirk

..yeah..I agree..neither are very good..oh well..I guess i'll just 
have to keep my day job. Just keep the groaning to a minimum!

My first time at writing poetry! Sorry if the sentences have too many 
syllables or whatever you call it..cadence..man it's been a while 
since my last poetry class! hahahaha..

Skylark
------------------------
I'm not in the game but I wanted to try this out. 

Iolaus, he's the man.
He'll help you if you're in a jam.
If there's a monster to slay,
he's on his way,
making you an instant fan.

I know, I know. Terrible. Go easy on me O.K.?  :)  

Dark Wolf
----------------------

(1)
Iolaus stomach is Insatiable
On that it is not debatable
A hunter is He
On land or Sea
With skills that are remarkable

(2)
Iolaus skills are invaluable
In a fight he is most reliable
He fights with glee
With a hand or a knee
With these he is most knowledgeable

(3)
Iolaus heart is loveable 
It is also so excitable
There is no key 
To unlock it and see
Because it is quite sizable

(4)
Iolaus values are uncompromisable
They are also unbreakable
There is no fee
When troubled are we
To fight for us he is dependable

(5)
Iolaus singing is delectable
Off key its adorable
You can hear it for free
Where he sits beneath a tree
And Herc says he is laughable

Athena
----------------------------
Iolaus Pondering Hercules

My buddy's the best in a pinch.
To vicious warlords he won't give an inch.
Wandering up and down Greece
Killing monsters, keeping the peace,
Even titans can't make my pal flinch.

His dad is the god-king, old Zeus,
Whose libido was rather quite loose.
Alcmene's heart he won
So he gave her a son.
Posing as her husband was Zeus' clever ruse.

Herc's step-mom is Hera… "The Witch"
(What I wanted to say was… "The B**ch")
But it's a PG-13 list
So no listmom gets pissed
I used good judgment and made… "The Switch."

His Sister's a goddess named 'Dite.
She wears little more than a pink nightie.
But given my druthers
I'll deal with her brothers
'Cause at times 'Dite's mind is so flighty.

Herc's got lots of half-brothers we know.
Like a war god who tries to run the show.
But my pal confounds Ares
Every thrust, Herc still parries
And delivers Ares and embarrassing blow.

Alcmene is Herc's mom and she's sweet.
To visit her home is always a treat.
She taught him Virtue Beats Vice.
She taught him Always Be Nice.
And she taught him to cook, 'cause I sure love to eat.

Yes, Herc is my very best friend,
With a tie of the soul you can't rend.
I'll fight by his side
With a pride I can't hide
And I'll love him from now 'till the end.

**************
Help me…once I started…I can't stop…
I'm in a Limerick nightmare…
**************

The Woman
Evanthea's a woman I know
Who begs for attention, and so…
When I go off to see her
And kiss Evanthea
My attention's the first thing to go.

I float between heaven and land
On Cloud 9…so it's quite hard to stand.
With a kiss of that class
I wind up on my a*s
And the time that we share is just grand!

Mary E
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A limerick?  I liked adjectives better....(whine...) Okay, I didn't
think I'd get any sympathy, so here goes:

My Friend Herc! (to be read by Iolaus!)

For all of my life, my best friend's been Herc,
Even when other kids thought him a jerk.
As the years roll along,
His myth grows in legend and song,
But being half god's not really a perk.

There always some fool, some danger to answer,
Some villager somewhere, it doesn't much matter,
Who draws us away, from hearth and homefire,
Forgetting, as always, even demigods tire,
So, I try to relax him, with jokes, songs and chatter.

Herc's brave, so strong and as tall as a tree,
At least, on most days, he seems so to me.
Always compassionate, he's calm, and he's kind,
Whether I'm singing or stubborn, he seems not to mind,
I've never known why, but he's quite fond of me!

Of monsters, there have always been plenty,
Not sure how many, we stopped counting at twenty,
Flying ones, scary ones, ones breathing fire,
Poisonous teeth and dangers quite dire....
But, Herc only kills, if of souls they are empty.

Warlords and bandits, an evil Sovereign, too
None are too tough, or too skilled, for us two
We stand side by side, fight back to back
Cover each other from all kinds of flack,
It's who we are, what as partners, we do.

When gods, or goddesses, run all amok,
From bolts of fire, we often must duck,
I know if they get me, and I die on one day,
I'll be back by the night, if Herc has his way...
Still, he says I'm too careless, trust too much to luck.

I've died now so often, it's all clear to me,
Whether Elysium or Light, with friends we will be,
It's just that I hate to leave him alone,
Who'd make him laugh? Who'd draw him home?
As strong as he is, I know he needs me.

I'll stand by his side, as long as I'm able,
And, I care not at all if I'm not in the fable,
I'm lucky, I know, to have such a friend.
I don't mind dying, I have no fear of the end,
So long as he holds me, his arms like a cradle...

Arianna
----------------------
I can't stop thinking about limericks now! They just keep coming into 
my head!

Iolaus loves to dance.
You'll see him with his new romance.
They'll be on the floor
then out the door
before any other guy gets the chance.

Iolaus is a blond.
Of food he is very fond.
The tavern he never passes,
and he meets all the lasses,
then Herc tells him to jump in the pond.

Herc and Iolaus like fish.
Iolaus casts his pole with a swish.
Herc picks up a rock,
for the fish he will sock,
and it annoys Iolaus when he don't miss.

Dark Wolf
----------------------------------
On Mythology Dark Wolf knows it all (what a geek!)
Knows their names in both Roman and Greek.
When the little hand hits the 6
In the recliner she sits
And from Dad's hand the remote she sneaks.

Our two heros fight side by side
And from them the bad guys do hide.
They Herc and Iolaus.
Their show is so glorious.
The Widow Twanky makes me laugh 'til I cry.

Our brave duo once again saved the day.
In the marketplace kids safely play.
Herc and Iolaus got rough
And put the gods in a huff.
Wait....what did that disclaimer say???

Chickadee :)
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There was a young man called Iolaus
About whom our mothers do scold us
For when he walks by
All we do is sigh
And wish his strong arms would enfold us


Love
Caro
-----------------------------------
Here's a slightly better limerick than the one before:

Our golden hunter, Iolaus with his cerulean eyes and his flaxen-
colored hair is quite charming
His sweet infectious laugh is quite disarming
His grin is quite impish,
Sometimes when he is injured and needs help, his pride may seem mulish
Iolaus' propensity for trouble and willingness to jump right in 
without thinking is in Hercules' opinion quite alarming,
Still Iolaus is a warrior hero and would never trade his life with 
Hercules for farming.

Skylark
-----------------------------------

Iolaus fights monsters and cur
These are battles he's not likely to defer
He never runs away
His loyalties never sway
From him treason will never occur
****
With the ladies Iolaus is a winner
They all want to serve him his dinner
He won't commit to one
But to their wiles he will succumb
And he'll always walk away a big grinner
****
Herc travels the world with his little buddy
Fighting battles that sometimes get a bit
bloody
With an energy level in excess
His voracious appetite does impress
But with the gals Iolaus just turns into
putty
****
Iolaus is *Our* Golden Hunter for sure
Any blunter I couldn't be more
Shot straight throught the hearts
With one of Cupid's love darts
Now our love and admiration does soar
****
Sweet Ania was Iolaus love true
One look at her and he just knew
She couldn't cook worth a damn
Every meal was a sham
But evenso his love just grew and grew

and there ya have it!  :)  
Hugs
Bev
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These are really bad - I apologize in advance :)



There once was a hunter from Thebes
Whose smile made us all weak in the knees
When Herc gave the word
He'd attack with his sword
And defeat all the minions of Ares

Iolaus fell in love with Xena
Too bad she turned out to be mean-a
She messed with his head
And wanted him dead
But she couldn't break up Herc and Iolaus' team-a

Iolaus has trouble with life
Thanks to Hera, Ares, Discord, and Strife
He dies many times
I can't make this rhyme
What did ever happen to his wife?

Just like brother Chuck on Happy Days
Ania vanished without a trace
She and Iolaus shared a love
The fit together like hand and glove
He really dug that thing on her face

Without any sort of explanation
Ania left the situation
No more did Iolaus have a wife
Roguish bachelor was now his life
Bent on massive procreation

Widow Twanky dances with grace
She never falls flat on her face
She looks like Iolaus
They can't ever fool us
No matter how much satin and lace

Of thieves, Autolycus is the king
He'll take your money, your watch, and your ring
To Iolaus, he is a pain
Their relationship is a strain
But Auto, your praises we sing

There once was a warrior so quick
With a bag of Old Hunter's Tricks
 He charmed all the girls
With blue eyes and golden curls
And Ares' butt he regularly did kick

Iolaus:  Don't go to Sumeria we plead
Another death scene is not what we need
Tapert is a louse
A pox on his house
His plan to eliminate you will never succeed

Herc and Iolaus are tied at the soul
Heart's brothers, that is their role
They laugh and they cry
With love in their eyes
Our hearts, they definitely stole

Well, I had to try... :)
Cheers,
QW
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Here is my attempt:

One never knows what their future will hold,
or what lies in wait for the warrior bold.
But he'll fight to the end
For the love of a friend,
This man with the heart made of gold.

Okay, maybe another (as spoken by Hercules):

There are many I could call a 'friend,'
But just one on whom I'll depend.
When in need of solace,
I look to Iolaus,
For he's there, by my side, 'till the end.

Okay, stop laughing, I tried.  :)

~Drakkar
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Llisten up, Llurkers and others!

Llets all llook at Llyra's llyrical Llimericks, llisted here for your 
'llumination.  Hope you llike them!

IOLAUS LIMERICKS

by Llyra

The game goddess set us a task.
To write limericks was the ask.
The rhymes to be told
Of our hunter bold.
The one with the very nice ... smile.

(Let's keep this PG 13, folks!)

The hunter sat eating his stew.
His face turning robin's egg blue.
"This tastes like a cat,
And a boiled one at that.
With quite a large mouse in it, too."

(With apologies to the epicure at Crewe)

Iolaus has many girl friends.
The list of their charms never ends.
The problem? He kisses
So many young misses
In his mind their faces all blend.

The Goddess of Love had a fruit.
An apple, round, golden and cute.
She gave to the guy
with the blue, twinkling eye,
So her beauty he'd never dispute.

For one day Iolaus was king
He showed us his royalty thing.
His impersonation
Caused such a sensation
That Niobe soon felt love's sting.

He's friend to a tall demigod
Who's got the most beautiful bod.
They're both hunks it's true
But between me and you
The little one's got the best rod!

(For fishing! For fishing!  I told you!  PG13 rating!  Jeese, get your 
mind out of the gutter!)

Iolaus is handsome and brave.
He doesn't mind damsels to save.
Or monsters to slay
Or a warlord's okay.
He'll even save cats from a cave.

With an appetite way past belief
Curly dined with a Palmira chief
Who stuffed him with mutton
And some pork rib button
`Til the hunter cried out, "Where's the beef?"

With hair of spun gold and blue eyes
the hunter fights foes twice his size.
He beats them all flat
be they skinny or fat
He makes road kill smears of these guys.

Iolaus' ratty old vest
Covers just half of his chest.
But that's okay with us
We won't make a fuss.
`Cause it's fun to imagine the rest.

Iolaus' laugh is a giggle.
When he signs his name, it's a squiggle.
When he looks for a date
In a city or state
He looks for the girl with the wiggle.

The hunter and Twanky once met
and started to dance on a bet.
They twirled and they dipped
They two-stepped and slipped
`Cause the floor they were using was wet.

It's sad that the Journeys are done,
And only seen now in rerun.
We'll miss our Blondie
And think of him fondly
Whenever we look at the sun.

At the end he sat in a chair
And told them, "Cut off all my hair!
For six years it grew
Now I want a crew!"
And the female fans cried in despair.

Well, those are my limericks, folks.
I hope that you don't mind the jokes.
They were lame, I agree,
But don't you all see
That I'm really not very good at this kind of thing, so I guess I'll 
just end here and have done.  Whew!  That was a lot of fun, but I'd 
better find something that rhymes with `folks,' and `jokes.'  Hmmm.  
How about, "My excuse is, I only just wokes?"  Sorry, best I could do 
on short notice.

Llyra
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There was once a hunter named Iolaus
Who would chew his food into a bolus
He liked to eat
Almost anything with feet
Until he looked down and found he was vole-less.

I give credit to anyone...and I mean anyone who can find words to rhyme
with Iolaus.

Margui
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I'm having fun coming up with these lame limericks..so go ahead and 
GROAN because here it goes:

Hercules is my friend
I intend to be with him until the end

Traveling with Herc is great
Slaying monsters and watching Herc's back is my fate.
I love it when I always get the date

I don't like it that I'm always on the mend
Being there for Herc is what it means for me to be his friend
I intend to be with my soulbrother until the end

Skylark
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