It is raining here now,
and I must say wow,
The drops are wet
and you bet,
They are cool and how.
I'd say it was raining here too,
But today the skies are near blue
So here's my reply
We're all high and dry,
I wish it were raining here too!
This is Michigan.
Murky, muggy and hot
Humid it is, cool it's not
Want the weather to be great?
Five minutes is all you have to wait
And then it will change for the worse, a lot!
At first we needed the rain,
But then it got to be a pain,
Six inches Iowa got,
In an eight-day shot,
Now I don't have a tan, I have a rust stain!
To the IML Yoli has come
To help us with our pandemonium
A fan she had been awhile
just shows she's a gal with style
Welcome to a place that's plumb
And now welcome to our friend Yoli here
Who saw Michael as a Musketeer!
You lucky soul
to have seen that role
"Come on in to Iolausland," we all now cheer.
Welcome Gary to our Iolausian Mailing List abode
Where we invite you to sit and take off a load
so join in the fun
This list's second to none
With its collection of fanfic and an occasional ode.
A warm welcome goes out to our friend, FHL
You'll find yourself uplifted on the IML
Lots of fanfic
minds, sharp and quick
You'll fit right in, I can tell!
****WARNING...attempt at limericks****
I'm planning to write new Fan Fic
I hope it's really very slick
I'm out of my mind
really for trying
I think I'm going to need a kick
{tee hee}
Where are the limericks, where did they go?
This new ILA member wants to know
Don't say it's all done
'Cause I have a new one
Well, actually two, just read below
The powers that be should feel very alarmed
Don't they know some Iolausians are armed?
How could they plan
Without our main man?
Give us Iolaus and no one gets harmed!
The predictions for the next season are so ominous
We may all have to join Iolaus Anonymous
On the serious side
They ignore our pride
For Iolaus, who's heart beats within us
Thalya
Sometimes the muses don't speak,
and when they don't we go EEEK
Now they have said,
That Limericks ain't dead,
So here's this one for a peek.
Yes, the Iolausian Limerick does rule
But right now, I'm wrapped up in school
someday I'll have time
for rhythm and rhyme
To have time to write again would be Kewl!
A Retrospective Iolausian Limerick Episode Guide
From The Movies Through The End Of The First Season
(as seen through the eyes of THIS Iolausian)
* * * Introduction * * *:
This is my first All Iolaus Day
I'm celebrating in a rhyming way
I really worked hard
Keep in mind, I'm no bard
So be kind in what you will say
Now let's take a look at the show
See what we Iolausians know
There is only Iolaus
Make that Michael/Iolaus
The time he's not there goes so slow
WARNING: The following contains (sometimes comical)
* * * The Movies * * *
"Hercules And The Amazon Women"
"Amazon Women", this started it all
It has two heroes, one PERFECT, one tall
Who is this blond man?
What's his name, I demand
For bluer eyes I cannot recall
His name is Iolaus, he's Herc's best friend
Will fight back to back, to the death, to the end
He's engaged to Anya
But the writers just con ya
We'll never hear from her again
Iolaus is gorgeous and fiesty and skilled
Just when you get to know him he's killed!
An Amazon using her knife
Takes sweet Iolaus' life
My tears ran as his blood was spilled
But wait, it's not over! He has returned!
Zeus reversed time as the candle burned
Oh yes, he's alive!
But can he survive?
Well, at least three times we've learned
"Hercules In The Underworld"
>"Herc In The Underworld" held some surprises
Michael was there, but was wearing disguises
A doomed drunk with black hair
And then he was there
As Charon, a role he reprises
Charon the boatman, the chauffeur of your soul
Steers his boat on the Styx with a very long pole
"No coiny, no ridey"
His sum was tidy
Want to cross? One gold coin is the toll
"The Maze Of The Minotaur"
In "Maze Of The Minotaur" Iolaus is back
The scene in the barn caused a heart attack!
He took off his vest
Oh, I love this part best!
This movie was mostly flashbacks
A minotaur, not one by birth
Hates old Zeus for all he is worth
"Your son I will kill
But a lure I need, still"
So Iolaus is swallowed by the earth
Our Iolaus is in deep trouble again
He will need the help of his best friend
What's it this time?
It's yucky green slime!
But he's all cleaned up by the end
* * * Season One * * *
"The Wrong Path"
"The Wrong Path" was just the beginning
Of the series whose blond hero was winning
Many fans by the score
Oh, yes we want more
For he leaves us giggling and grinning
The She-Demon's tail turned men into stone
And Iolaus went off to fight her alone
The danger he braved
But he had to be saved
When a trick of the tail struck home
>He was brought back when the She-Demon died
"Your family, I saw them," he had to confide
"Continue to love them
But stay here above them
Don't hurry to be by their side"
"Pride Comes Before A Brawl"
Considering it to be just a race
He split up with Herc on their way to Thrace
"I'll beat Herc today"
He went his own way
Not knowing the dangers he'd face
Now "Pride" is what we've waited to see
Oh Lydia please, please trade places with me
"Take off your dress"
Was his request
And you did it so HESITANTLY???
While Satyrs are following close at his heel
Iolaus must fight a hydra and eel
On top of all this
He must keep Nemesis
From completing her part of the deal
In Thrace they arrived and Lydia told
Of how Iolaus is both brave and bold
His pride lesson learned
Nemesis turned
His death sentence was put on hold
"The March To Freedom"
"The March To Freedom" was mostly all Herc
This is all we get of Iolaus? How berserk!
So little screen time
Oh hey, here's the rhyme
Was it worth Michael's drive time to work?
To help Herc free the girl who's enslaved
Iolaus lends Herc the money he's saved
Just how is he thanked?
Head over heels he's yanked
She could have been better behaved
"Warrior Princess"
>When Iolaus met Xena, he was ripe for the taking
The loneliness in him kept his heart ever aching
He loved her so true
If only he knew
It was his life he was forsaking
Xena was one who he truly adored
Her distrust of Herc, Iolaus ignored
Till she had him convinced
He said, as he winced
"Against Herc I'll take up my sword"
Under her spell, Iolaus thought he was right
To battle Herc in a deadly, fierce fight
But when push came to shove
It was brotherly love
That helped Iolaus to see the light
>Evil Xena, how you bewitched him
Took his heart and then you ditched him
Your plan didn't work
He wouldn't kill Herc
Did you think you had truly switched him?
"Gladiator"
>Iolaus told Herc of his reservation
He was concerned with their preservaton
Was thrown into prison
'Cause Herc wouldn't listen
Now they'd both face a bad situation
Iolaus in this one had not much to do
Wait until with Herc they were through
There behind bars
Nursing new scars
Telling the prisoners their freedom was due
The cruel king and queen put Iolaus in sight
Just to ensure Hercules would fight
But he fights his way free
Later reads the decree
The parchment that sets everything right
"The Vanishing Dead"
Iolaus had a young man beseech him
He wanted revenge, asked Iolaus to teach him
Iolaus said, "Son
Tis better to run
Than to fight", but his words couldn't reach him
Alone with Ares Iolaus was found
Ares had put him up high off the ground
By his feet he was strung
Upsidedown he was hung
Till he burned through the rope to get down
After that fall, he must have been sore
But he helped Herc defeat the Dog of War
He took the torch
Gave Graegus a scorch
The dead then vanished no more
"Unchained Heart"
In "The Unchained Heart" Iolaus returns
And the pain Xena caused him still burns
Herc and Xena make love
Not caring a thing of
Iolaus' feelings if of this he learns
Where "Warrior Princess" was betrayal and lust
"Unchained Heart" is forgiveness and trust
A way he will find
To leave the pain behind
To get on with his life, he must
When Iolaus sees Xena at the campfire
He can't control his feeling of ire
He once loved her so madly
She hurt him so badly
To be near her, he had no desire
Xena begs forgiveness, don't know if he can
She's now reformed and regrets her plan
And in the end
They become friends
How could she have betrayed this sweet man
* * * Epilogue * * *
There wasn't enough of Michael this season
And by now, most all know the reason
He was previously engage
Not knowing, we're outraged
Even accused the writers of treason
Yes, there are eps that are not on this list
Without Michael there, they barely exist
To me Mr. Hurst
Will always come first
For I find him too hard to resist
Michael Hurst is the consumate actor
His mere presence, a creative factor
Iolaus is gallant
Michael's loaded with talent
How could either have a single detractor?
Now this set of limericks is done
Hope you like this look at Season One
And if you do
I'll do Season Two
Happy AID, have fun!
Thalya
Happy 25th to the birthday quartet
Rest assured that you're gonna get
Our best wishes from the heart
But here's the best part
Come tomorrow, it ain't over yet!
Thalya
ODE TO AID--8/25/98
The Golden Hunter arose with a smile.
He'd been waiting for this day for quite a while.
"It's A-I-D!"
He said with glee!
So sit right back and don't touch that dial!
Today is the day on the IML
When our hero encounters the most hell.
Although it's in praise,
It's trouble we raise--
The sorts of which I now will tell.
Broken bones, cracked ribs and the like.
Some warlord who wants his head on a pike.
Or will he charm
A damsel from harm?
Or rescue from a well some adorable tike?
There will surely be monsters to slay,
And villains whose games he'll play.
To outsmart
Will be his part
In making certain that he saves the day.
Covered in mud or the juice of a grape,
He can talk his way out of most any scrape.
With his kind of livin'
It's always a given
That Iolaus will definitely make an escape.
So now let the bards their fanfic begin!
Our Golden Hunter's tricks many hearts will win.
It's All Iolaus Day!
It's time to play!
Just what sorts of trouble will our hero get in?
There once was anIolausian(namely me!),
Who tried vainly to write for A-I-D.
"Iolaus should be in it,
But HOW to begin it?,
Oh Muses,I beg, hear my plea!".
And the haiku
Blue eyes and blond hair
Can throw a girl for a loop!
He leaves me speechless!
*sigh*
I can't let an AID pass by
Without at least sending something on the fly
My life's become all rush, rush
I hardly have a moment's hush
Just barely time to wish everyone hi!
I do have a story contribution
But haven't quite found the final solution
I wanted it to be done
But my students haven't left me time for fun.
So this limerick must be my substitution.
On Iolaus we shower affection
Despite a few points of imperfection
He has a knack for finding trouble
And his personality tends to bubble
But his kiss would be the perfect confection
Iolaus does tend to babble
Till his brains Herc would like to scrabble
Upon them, the bandits descended
Quickly, the baddies were aprehended.
For in fighting Iolaus likes to dabble.
'Twas once an Iolausian so proud to be a part
Of a mailing list with so much heart
It's certainly clear
Who led her here
Admiration of Iolaus and Michael was the start
But soon she found the other birds of a feather
Who admired the man in purple and black leather
She was never alone
throughout the time zones
And found the bond of family kept them together.
I am sending you this letter
I hope your day gets better,
Iolaus will fight
To make your day right,
Cause he's a real go getter.
Welcome to our brand new friend, Diane
It's always great to meet another Iolaus fan
This list is loads of fun
It's second to none
To enjoy Iolaus, Michael, and the list is the plan.
Welcome, Harmonia, cousin to Shawnee
We know you're as sweet as honey
With all the fanfic
You can take your pic,
Better yet read them all, and the jokes, they're funny.
Dear friends, you never cease to amaze
All around, the Iolausians garner praise
For wonderful fanfic
And jokes laid on a bit thick
AID and Joke Day your sure talent displays.
Welcome Ceridwen, to a fantastic place
Where a devotion to Iolaus we all fondly embrace.
And never you fear;
I-O-who, you'll never hear.
Who could ever forget that golden smiling face?
Dear Ceredwyn, you never know where we'll strike
As it appears "great minds" think alike
who knew that we might
Visit the same site
Hope the other Iolausians won't tell us to take a hike.
Dear FaithAyn, I would be terribly mistaken
If I your original post had forsaken
Welcome to the list
A place not to be missed
Our devotion to Iolaus and each other cannot be shaken.
A warm welcome to our newest newbie,
Donna, we've a wonderful place as you can see
So join right in
You can't help but win
At the list where Iolaus is discussed with much glee.
All Iolausians love to hear a tale
Of our Golden Hunter, our favorite male
So welcome Deb
to the best place on the web
But write a cliffhanger, and you'll hear em wail.
Glad to have you, Beckers to join in
We'll be glad to read the new stories you'll spin
You've found a great place
with plenty of space
With more Iolaus stories, we all can't help but win.
Usako, from the Herk Netforum, welcome friend
You'll find the joy at this place will never end
With Iolaus in all his glory
Join in this great story
On Iolaus and the IML you can always depend.
Meredyth, welcome to the IML fun.
Where we have endless discussions of the Golden One
We all have been known to dabble
in the infamous Iolausian babble
Where else could you find so many fine folk under the sun?
Relax and enjoy...this is what we try to do
and seem to do very well!
So join us, and if you have any questions,
just give an Iolausian yell
and someone will rush to your rescue!
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